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[volitaunt]

"Hey, try again later."

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BOIIIII

[paged]

You tell me you're in the hospital right before they discharge you? What the fuck, Poe

W E L P

[volitaunt]

hi, karen

; ;

[paged]

[ She doesn't have to ask if he's alright - despite the reflex to - because they wouldn't have discharged him otherwise. ]

Why did you do that?

[volitaunt]

[ There's a long delay in his reply, while he tries to figure out why he did do that. ]

i didn't want you to be angry with me.

over what happened.

[ Has he told her what happened? No he has not. Good job Poe. ]

i just noticed he has two drinks in one hand in that gif

[paged]

My friend is in the hospital with injuries. I'm more worried than anything else.

he has #priorities

[volitaunt]

it was ren.

[ Which he thinks is explanation enough as to why she should be mad at him. ]

clearly

[paged]

[ There is the heaviest fucking sigh. But fuck it, she asks it anyway. ]

Are you alright? Aside from physically.

[volitaunt]

[ AN EVEN LONGER SILENCE!! ]

no.

[paged]

[ She expected as much. ]

Do you want me to back off?

[ She knows on her worst nights, she just wants to be left alone because she knows she won't be good company to anyone around her. ]

[volitaunt]

i don't know.

[ Poe isn't used to wanting to be alone. He thrives on interaction, takes his joy from being around others.

He almost doesn't know how to be by himself. ]

i have no idea.

[paged]

[ Karen sometimes feels the same way. She hates feeling lonely, isolated. ]

I'm here if you need me, Poe.

My door is open. Or I can come to you. You just need to let me know, okay?

[volitaunt]

i'll come to you.

[ He wants to see her. He's not sure what he'll say when he does, but so far he's seen the other people that mean the most to him here.

He also wants an excuse to leave the little room he often shares with Finn and Rey. It feels claustrophobic. He knows why. Half the time he sees the walls of the interrogation room instead of the residential building. The other half of the time he's waiting for that slip of memory to take him back into a nightmare. ]

[paged]

Be careful.

[ But she means it: her door is open to him if he needs her. She's lost enough friends by now. She doesn't want to push more away. ]

[volitaunt]

[ It takes him, oh, an hour or so to finally go to her room. An hour or so of looking at her messages. An hour or so of fluttering between half-formed thoughts and memories of the park, the Finalizer, Leia.

He leans against her door for a second before knocking on it, keeping his voice light. ] I thought you said it'd be open.

[ Even traumatized, Poe is a shit. ]

[paged]

[ She opens it for him, shaking her head. ]

You know what I meant.

[ And, as soon as she was able to, she gingerly wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug (easy to do with the height difference). ]

[volitaunt]

[ Poe flinches, tenses, and then forces himself to relax. It's not that he's surprised by the hug. It's that he's so far into the pit of the Finalizer that he's expecting something else.

He rests his face against her shoulder. ]

Hi.

[paged]

[ She rests her chin on his shoulder in turn, eyes closed, ]

I'm glad you're okay.

[ Even if he's not all "okay", he's still standing, he's still here. That counts for something. ]

[volitaunt]

[ For a few seconds he doesn't say anything, just holds her and lets himself be held. It's a silent affirmation: yes, he's here, he's alive, no matter what else is happening. ]

Me too.

[paged]

[ She continues to hold him for a few moments, vaguely realizing she can feel his heartbeat against her own chest. Just further confirmation. ]

Are you hungry? Tired? I'll lend you my bed for a few hours if you need it.

[volitaunt]

[ He chuckles. Honestly, he could use food and sleep--he hasn't gotten enough of either, not being able to stomach one and not being able to relax into the other. ]

I look that bad?

[paged]

[ She smiles a little at that, glad to hear him laugh. ]

A little bit, yeah.

[volitaunt]

[ He exhales, trying to sort out his thoughts. ]

...I don't know.

[ So much for sorting out his thoughts. ]

[paged]

[ She finally pulls away but takes him by the hand to tug him inside all the way. ]

That's fine. I got time for you to decide.

[ Adding, ]

Well, as long as you don't mind me working.

[ She's got new files to read for this story but fox packs creating their own network in the Quarantine. ]

[volitaunt]

[ He should know. He shouldn't be content to let her lead him into her room, he shouldn't be okay with confusion. He wants his head to work properly again. He wants his X-wing, he wants a target, he wants anything but this moon and its endless rounds of safe routines that don't feel natural in the least.

He doesn't know how to live without the possibility of dying. He doesn't know what to do with himself when his friends are the ones taking the lead.

But he doesn't say anything, either, as she draws him in to her space. Because it's still true: when it comes to what he needs right now, he has no idea. ]

[paged]

[ She closes the door behind them (locking it out of habit) and pulls him over to the bed, letting go of his hand to gesture how he can lay down if he wants.

She steps away, not really knowing what to do with her hands and it shows as her fingers thread and lock together. ]

I was going to make an egg sandwich. Do you want one?

[ The protein certainly couldn't hurt, right? ]