[ She looks at him and then their hands. It hurts how similar this sounds to Matt or Frank. There's always a war or a mission or a fight to fight. And while she has her own in Hell's Kitchen, this just... what is she suppose to say to that?
There's no war here?
She knows better than most how demons will follow you everywhere you go. And Poe was a soldier. Those kind of demons may never go away.
What about after the war?
What business does she have asking something like that? Especially of a war she isn't even apart of. She can't really bring herself to look at him. Her voice is quiet even in the silence of the apartment. ]
Just because you're used to it, that doesn't make it 'okay'.
[ The only thing she can say with certainty and experience. ]
[ Poe lifts her hands, then stops, not sure what he was planning on doing. Kissing her knuckles? No. He just stares at her hands like they'll give him an answer or something else to say.
He's not sure how to exist in a world where he's admitted that he's not all right. It means admitting that Hosnian Prime is gone, that he's been tortured physically and mentally not once now, but twice. His uncle got shot down trying to save his life. His friends are dead and more will die. He lives in a landscape of chaos and violence and somehow--
Somehow, it's become okay.
He raises her hands and presses his face against the backs of her fingers. ]
I have to be okay, Karen. [ She smells like her pillow, he thinks, stupidly. ] Just. Until it's over, all right?
[ She looks back at him when he moves her hands but remains silent. As much as she wants to help him, they are from two different worlds. Two different walks of life. Even with all the similarities they share in experiences, in personality, it feels like there's this chasm between them. Something she's not sure she's ever going to be able to cross.
It's when he presses his face to her fingers like that that she feels she needs to try. Even if she has nothing of value to offer. She's no soldier, no genius or fighter. She's just... her.
She moves forward and wraps her arms around him again, pulling him into another hug. ]
I just--I wish I could help more.
[ Because God knows she can't help her own nightmares disappear. She wishes she could at least do right by someone else. Especially someone as good as Poe was. ]
[ This time, at least, he doesn't flinch from the hug. He wishes he could return some of what she's given him, the steady support and understanding.
(There's that voice again, that demand to be better than this, to pull himself together, the hissing reprimand that lives are at stake and he can't afford to come to pieces like this. They're his responsibility, and he's primed to fail them all.)
He feels a little like Karen is the only thing holding him up, or holding him down. Just like Finn in the hospital: she's keeping him in the present.
Mumbled into the cloth of her shirt: ] You help more than enough.
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no subject
Date: 2017-12-26 03:22 am (UTC)There's no war here?
She knows better than most how demons will follow you everywhere you go. And Poe was a soldier. Those kind of demons may never go away.
What about after the war?
What business does she have asking something like that? Especially of a war she isn't even apart of. She can't really bring herself to look at him. Her voice is quiet even in the silence of the apartment. ]
Just because you're used to it, that doesn't make it 'okay'.
[ The only thing she can say with certainty and experience. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-12-26 06:11 am (UTC)He's not sure how to exist in a world where he's admitted that he's not all right. It means admitting that Hosnian Prime is gone, that he's been tortured physically and mentally not once now, but twice. His uncle got shot down trying to save his life. His friends are dead and more will die. He lives in a landscape of chaos and violence and somehow--
Somehow, it's become okay.
He raises her hands and presses his face against the backs of her fingers. ]
I have to be okay, Karen. [ She smells like her pillow, he thinks, stupidly. ] Just. Until it's over, all right?
no subject
Date: 2017-12-26 07:51 am (UTC)It's when he presses his face to her fingers like that that she feels she needs to try. Even if she has nothing of value to offer. She's no soldier, no genius or fighter. She's just... her.
She moves forward and wraps her arms around him again, pulling him into another hug. ]
I just--I wish I could help more.
[ Because God knows she can't help her own nightmares disappear. She wishes she could at least do right by someone else. Especially someone as good as Poe was. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-12-27 12:44 am (UTC)(There's that voice again, that demand to be better than this, to pull himself together, the hissing reprimand that lives are at stake and he can't afford to come to pieces like this. They're his responsibility, and he's primed to fail them all.)
He feels a little like Karen is the only thing holding him up, or holding him down. Just like Finn in the hospital: she's keeping him in the present.
Mumbled into the cloth of her shirt: ] You help more than enough.