[ For a few seconds he doesn't say anything, just holds her and lets himself be held. It's a silent affirmation: yes, he's here, he's alive, no matter what else is happening. ]
[ He chuckles. Honestly, he could use food and sleep--he hasn't gotten enough of either, not being able to stomach one and not being able to relax into the other. ]
[ He should know. He shouldn't be content to let her lead him into her room, he shouldn't be okay with confusion. He wants his head to work properly again. He wants his X-wing, he wants a target, he wants anything but this moon and its endless rounds of safe routines that don't feel natural in the least.
He doesn't know how to live without the possibility of dying. He doesn't know what to do with himself when his friends are the ones taking the lead.
But he doesn't say anything, either, as she draws him in to her space. Because it's still true: when it comes to what he needs right now, he has no idea. ]
[ She closes the door behind them (locking it out of habit) and pulls him over to the bed, letting go of his hand to gesture how he can lay down if he wants.
She steps away, not really knowing what to do with her hands and it shows as her fingers thread and lock together. ]
I was going to make an egg sandwich. Do you want one?
[ There's no emotional force behind the words. They're just words, said because they're the proper response. It's like Jim asking to come in and Poe saying Yeah, sure. Desire doesn't really factor into it: it's preprogrammed social expectation. ]
[ She knows that kind of response. She's seen and heard it from Matt more than a few times. Her mouth presses into a thin line as she tries not to say anything to push. She gestures to the small television, instead. ]
You can turn that on if you want. It's not bad for background noise.
[ Moving into the kitchenette to start getting the eggs and bread ready, ]
Not sure I get the shows but at least it's not re-runs of Cheers or something.
[ A flicker of presence behind his eyes. Curiosity. ] Cheers?
[ He switches the television on, rolling through the channels twice before he realizes he's done it, and then just... leaving it on something with cats. That seems safe.
He watches it for a few seconds before drifting back to her bed. Instead of laying down in it, he sits on the floor, back against one of the legs. ]
Yeah, um. It's a show where I'm from. What we call a "sitcom", short for "situational comedy".
[ She's more focused on what she's doing with the food but talking about this seems good for her, too. Better to talk about something like this than try to press something that they already argued about before.
(And the absence of Matt and Frank has her feeling a little cagey with people she knows in general.) ]
Which is a fancy way of saying 'a comedy where things happen to people' and Cheers was a show that took place in a bar and was about this group of friends that always hung out at this bar, one of them being the owner. It was... actually pretty funny for a while. Was on tv for years and years.
Did they have anything like that in your universe?
[ He only half-hears what she's saying. It's a little like with Finn, in the hospital--the sound of a familiar voice grounding him more than anything else. Poe closes his eyes, letting her voice wash through him, fill every dark place with something that's only ever been a part of his light.
It takes a few second of silence for him to realize she asked him a question. ] Mmm? Oh. Yeah, yeah we did, we do, on the Holonet, we have... [ A tiny gesture. ] All of that. Sitcoms, dramas, news. Even those television trial shows, like the one here in the morning sometimes--Judge Judy. Never understood the appeal of those.
[ His back twinges, a phantom pain. Poe shifts to try and get more comfortable.
Hesitation, then: ] Can you... Do you mind just talking? It doesn't have to be about anything important. It doesn't have to be about anything.
[ She's about to ask him what kind of dramas and sitcoms but then he's asking her to keep talking and while she pauses long enough to look at him, seeing something there that she's seen a few times when looking in the mirror, she just nods and looks back to the stove top. ]
Sure.
[ A beat before she tries to pick up where he left off. ]
The appeal for those courtroom shows, usually, is just watching to see people get in trouble or squabble before a judge and then see the judge snap at them or smack them down if they get uppity. I watched a few one day when I was bored. Ended up turning it to another channel and found a show called Unsolved Mysteries which ended up creeping me out more than anything else. And yet, it was super addicting to watch; wanting to find out what they would cover next, you know?
Though... this whole thing puts those episodes about alien abduction into a whole new light...
He sounds (he is) half-asleep when he says it. He's in that gray place between unconsciousness and waking, that peaceful drifting feeling that's been so elusive without the hospital's drugs forcing him down. He doesn't realize his eyes are closed until he shifts a little, lashes fluttering.
He's on the leaning edge of a balance, tilting toward sleep. ]
[ He makes a little grumbling noise and hauls himself back to his feet, eyes closing briefly even as he stands up. ]
Fine. You win.
[ He peels his shoes off, tossing them over by the door instead of leaving them in the middle of her floor. Then he just stands there for a second. Because he's tired enough that his brain is only processing in increments.
[ She had meant to help him to his feet if he needed it but he's already up and looking like he might fall asleep on his feet. She reaches over to steady him only to step back to let him get his shoes off.
She's torn between laughing and being sympathetic; she knows what it's like to feel so exhausted. Karen wonders if he's slept at all since leaving the hospital.
After he's flopped down on the bed, she nods, pulling one of the blankets over him, ]
[ He closes his eyes, enjoying the feel of the blankets being drawn up without effort on his part. The pillow smells like her, like flowers he's never seen but that are somehow still familiar.
He reaches out from under the blanket and catches her hand in his, keeping her from walking away. And Poe just... looks at her. He should say something. One deep breath, two.
His eyelids flutter, close, and he's asleep while still holding her hand. ]
[ She stills when he grabs her hand, waiting for him to say something. But then he's falling back asleep and she just smiles, her hand giving his a small squeeze, her voice quiet. ]
[ He sleeps for an hour or so without dreaming. Without even really moving.
The dream starts the way it has many times over, with a soreness in his wrists, shackled and chafing as he's dragged through the halls of the Finalizer. This time things go a little differently--instead of an interrogation room, he's brought to an open place with trees, snow falling lightly, and left there alone. A stormtrooper without a helmet, Finn, it's Finn, comes jogging through the trees, white armor shining in the darkness.
Run, the dream-Finn yells. Run!
A ribbon of red flares to life behind him, too close for Poe to do anything about it.
When he wakes up, it's with the sound of a lightsaber ignition crackling in his ears, and he flails under her blankets, yelling a warning to Finn. ]
[ Eventually, she lets go of his hand and goes back to finish the sandwiches. She has one herself and sets the other aside in her small fridge, hoping he'll eat it later. In between watching tv and reading files while she eats, she glances over at him every few minutes, checking to make sure everything is alright.
She's in the middle of writing up bits of her report when he starts shifting on the bed. She doesn't notice immediately, concentrating on what she's writing with a singular kind of focus.
But then Poe is very much awake and it startles her completely out of her work, dropping her pen and turning to him. She leaves her chair without hesitation, ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2017-12-18 06:36 am (UTC)I'm glad you're okay.
[ Even if he's not all "okay", he's still standing, he's still here. That counts for something. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-12-19 03:16 am (UTC)Me too.
no subject
Date: 2017-12-20 03:36 am (UTC)Are you hungry? Tired? I'll lend you my bed for a few hours if you need it.
no subject
Date: 2017-12-21 11:08 pm (UTC)I look that bad?
no subject
Date: 2017-12-22 04:09 am (UTC)A little bit, yeah.
no subject
Date: 2017-12-22 05:18 am (UTC)...I don't know.
[ So much for sorting out his thoughts. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-12-22 07:28 am (UTC)That's fine. I got time for you to decide.
[ Adding, ]
Well, as long as you don't mind me working.
[ She's got new files to read for this story but fox packs creating their own network in the Quarantine. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-12-22 07:39 am (UTC)He doesn't know how to live without the possibility of dying. He doesn't know what to do with himself when his friends are the ones taking the lead.
But he doesn't say anything, either, as she draws him in to her space. Because it's still true: when it comes to what he needs right now, he has no idea. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-12-23 01:36 am (UTC)She steps away, not really knowing what to do with her hands and it shows as her fingers thread and lock together. ]
I was going to make an egg sandwich. Do you want one?
[ The protein certainly couldn't hurt, right? ]
no subject
Date: 2017-12-23 01:56 am (UTC)[ There's no emotional force behind the words. They're just words, said because they're the proper response. It's like Jim asking to come in and Poe saying Yeah, sure. Desire doesn't really factor into it: it's preprogrammed social expectation. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-12-23 06:26 am (UTC)You can turn that on if you want. It's not bad for background noise.
[ Moving into the kitchenette to start getting the eggs and bread ready, ]
Not sure I get the shows but at least it's not re-runs of Cheers or something.
no subject
Date: 2017-12-23 06:50 am (UTC)[ He switches the television on, rolling through the channels twice before he realizes he's done it, and then just... leaving it on something with cats. That seems safe.
He watches it for a few seconds before drifting back to her bed. Instead of laying down in it, he sits on the floor, back against one of the legs. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-12-23 07:40 am (UTC)[ She's more focused on what she's doing with the food but talking about this seems good for her, too. Better to talk about something like this than try to press something that they already argued about before.
(And the absence of Matt and Frank has her feeling a little cagey with people she knows in general.) ]
Which is a fancy way of saying 'a comedy where things happen to people' and Cheers was a show that took place in a bar and was about this group of friends that always hung out at this bar, one of them being the owner. It was... actually pretty funny for a while. Was on tv for years and years.
Did they have anything like that in your universe?
no subject
Date: 2017-12-23 07:57 am (UTC)It takes a few second of silence for him to realize she asked him a question. ] Mmm? Oh. Yeah, yeah we did, we do, on the Holonet, we have... [ A tiny gesture. ] All of that. Sitcoms, dramas, news. Even those television trial shows, like the one here in the morning sometimes--Judge Judy. Never understood the appeal of those.
[ His back twinges, a phantom pain. Poe shifts to try and get more comfortable.
Hesitation, then: ] Can you... Do you mind just talking? It doesn't have to be about anything important. It doesn't have to be about anything.
no subject
Date: 2017-12-23 09:06 am (UTC)Sure.
[ A beat before she tries to pick up where he left off. ]
The appeal for those courtroom shows, usually, is just watching to see people get in trouble or squabble before a judge and then see the judge snap at them or smack them down if they get uppity. I watched a few one day when I was bored. Ended up turning it to another channel and found a show called Unsolved Mysteries which ended up creeping me out more than anything else. And yet, it was super addicting to watch; wanting to find out what they would cover next, you know?
Though... this whole thing puts those episodes about alien abduction into a whole new light...
[ TO SAY THE LEAST. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-12-23 08:58 pm (UTC)[ BRINGING THE JOKES.
He sounds (he is) half-asleep when he says it. He's in that gray place between unconsciousness and waking, that peaceful drifting feeling that's been so elusive without the hospital's drugs forcing him down. He doesn't realize his eyes are closed until he shifts a little, lashes fluttering.
He's on the leaning edge of a balance, tilting toward sleep. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-12-23 09:19 pm (UTC)We already do plenty of that on Earth. This is a whole new level.
[ But the reaction to his tone is late, looking back over once she gets the eggs off the stove. She frowns a little, ]
Poe, are you falling asleep?
no subject
Date: 2017-12-23 09:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2017-12-23 10:19 pm (UTC)Bullshit. Come on, up. Get on the bed. If you're going to sleep, at least sleep there and not my floor.
no subject
Date: 2017-12-23 11:01 pm (UTC)Fine. You win.
[ He peels his shoes off, tossing them over by the door instead of leaving them in the middle of her floor. Then he just stands there for a second. Because he's tired enough that his brain is only processing in increments.
Poe shakes himself. ] Bed.
[ Like it's a self-issued order.
And he flops down on it. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-12-24 02:40 am (UTC)She's torn between laughing and being sympathetic; she knows what it's like to feel so exhausted. Karen wonders if he's slept at all since leaving the hospital.
After he's flopped down on the bed, she nods, pulling one of the blankets over him, ]
Bed. That's an order, Commander.
no subject
Date: 2017-12-24 02:51 am (UTC)He reaches out from under the blanket and catches her hand in his, keeping her from walking away. And Poe just... looks at her. He should say something. One deep breath, two.
His eyelids flutter, close, and he's asleep while still holding her hand. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-12-24 03:39 am (UTC)I'm not going anywhere.
no subject
Date: 2017-12-24 03:55 am (UTC)The dream starts the way it has many times over, with a soreness in his wrists, shackled and chafing as he's dragged through the halls of the Finalizer. This time things go a little differently--instead of an interrogation room, he's brought to an open place with trees, snow falling lightly, and left there alone. A stormtrooper without a helmet, Finn, it's Finn, comes jogging through the trees, white armor shining in the darkness.
Run, the dream-Finn yells. Run!
A ribbon of red flares to life behind him, too close for Poe to do anything about it.
When he wakes up, it's with the sound of a lightsaber ignition crackling in his ears, and he flails under her blankets, yelling a warning to Finn. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-12-24 04:31 am (UTC)She's in the middle of writing up bits of her report when he starts shifting on the bed. She doesn't notice immediately, concentrating on what she's writing with a singular kind of focus.
But then Poe is very much awake and it startles her completely out of her work, dropping her pen and turning to him. She leaves her chair without hesitation, ]
Hey, hey! Poe! You're okay, it's okay.
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