[ Cassian has been on D'Qar for...a handful of days. A lot of those days have been spent with Rey, because he has a lot of time to catch up on, but she's also an adult and a Force user and honestly at some point it reaches the General just who is here and then Cassian has to deal with that.
Right now he's dealing via avoiding and avoiding via running into Poe Dameron near Black One.
'Running into' as if Cassian didn't more or less plot to do this.
Anyway, running into consists of being there when Poe approaches and giving a bit of a smile. ]
Yeah, that's me. [ He ducks under the nose of his baby, giving her a once-over glance. This guy doesn't seem like a tech. But no one is unsettled by his presence, either.
Come to think of it, he looks familiar.
Ah. Wait. Poe remembers now. ]
You're the guy Rey's been hanging around with the past few days.
[ He's heard murmurs, of course he has, but Poe never pays too much attention to gossip. It's gossip, after all. It's better to get the truth from the source. ]
[ Cassian gives a little nod and a half-formed smile. Pilots can be amazingly single-minded about their crafts, and this pilot in particular is so comfortable in his own skin that he doesn't pause to wonder why Cassian is seeking him out in the first place.
Granted, it's about Rey and that wouldn't be a stretch in anyone's imagination to begin with, so. ]
I am.
[ But since that wasn't actually question, Cassian just raises his eyebrows and waits for one. ]
[ Poe lets the silence stretch just long enough to be sure that the guy isn't going to say anything else, before he raises his eyebrows. ] Kind of a mouthful, Guy-Rey's-Been-Hanging-Around-With-The-Past-Few-Days.
[ He ducks past Cassian to get his tools. He came out here to spend a little quality time with Black One, not try and guess what strangers are thinking.
He loosens one of the panels on the starfighter's side, pulling it away to show the heavy machinery underneath. ]
[ Alright, so that was actually amusing. Cassian's mouth quirks with it as he lets out a little huff of a laugh. ]
It's a bad habit borne out of a strange life, not introducing myself. [ Like a normal person, but then again, what has been 'normal' about his existence thus far? ]
Cassian. [ A beat. ] Andor.
[ There may be a reaction. There may not be. It's a lot easier if there isn't, because if there is, there's odd questions after. Like how did you survive and are you aging, neither of which he has a good, solid answer for.
Also what are you doing here now, which, he does have answers for. ]
[ Oh, it gets Poe's attention. His full and undivided attention, even while he's got one arm into Black One's guts up to the elbow.
But it isn't because he shares a name with a hero of the Rebellion. There's probably a lot of Leias out there, at least a few of the lesser-known names.
No, it gets Poe's attention for two very specific reasons. ]
Andor. Like Rey's been calling herself. [ Then: ] So you're the one the General wants to feed to a rancor.
It is her name, [ Cassian says, a lot less sharply than he would have a few days ago, but. It doesn't make it any less true, nor does it make the implication any less clear.
And, ah. Cassian's expression does something at that, a little abashed and a bit nervous with a mix of amusement for good measure. ]
I suspect she does. [ He will talk to her. He will. He just knows what it will lead to, and...he's stalling for time. ]
[ Poe grins, working his arm free of Black one and hunting for a rag to wipe off his fingers. That done, he offers Cassian his (cleaner) hand. ]
She'll get past it. If it's for Rey, she'll get past it. So you're... you're actually Rey's.... [ Her brother? Poe sizes Cassian up, a thought occurring to him that he doesn't like. ] You going to ask her to leave with you? Or are you staying here?
It definitely wasn't for fun, [ comes the answer, as Cassian lets go. ] Father. [ He expects more sizing up, at that revelation, but Cassian shakes his head. ] No, I...[ Cassian pauses; he's not sure how this is all going to suss out, really. ] If her mother can be convinced to come on her own, then I'm staying. Otherwise I'll go back and get her, and return.
[ He's heard stories about people who live preternaturally long lives with the help of the Force. He can't remember if those stories included any mention of whether or not the people involved aged.
Poe turns the rag over between his fingers, dirtying both his hands and not noticing. ]
That's good. [ He's not smiling any more. ] She was just starting to feel like a part of this place. I don't want her to lose that, too.
[ Cassian makes a noise in the affirmative, watching Poe's hands. ]
Is it? Good, I mean. [ Cassian puts up a hand before Poe can barrel him over with the affirmative (or perhaps a threat regarding Rey's emotional well-being.) ] It complicates things, for her, for the movement, my being here, and I realize that. Recognize that. I know what it means to have something like this as family, and I have no intention of taking her away from the people she cares about.
[ Which isn't to say she doesn't care about him or Jyn but the reality is she doesn't know them yet and they left her behind. ]
I'm sure you have questions, different ones from hers. [ The decision to offer answers freely is rooted in Poe's concern, and the distance he's trying to create between himself and it. Cassian gives a nod. ] You may as well ask them.
[ They'll be different from Leia's too, he's sure. And Finn's, whose questions Cassian can't even begin to predict and it frightens him in a way. ]
[ If Poe hadn't picked up on that, Cassian may have despaired a little in his daughter's taste (in friends? He isn't asking, not today), but of course here are the questions that Cassian doesn't have whole and complete answers to. ]
Jyn was wearing a kyber necklace - as far as we know, that probably had something to do with it. How we ended up in bacta tanks in the Outer Rim years later? Why we were the only ones, why neither of us are going grey, I don't know. We lives, we breathe, we bleed. We had a child.
[ He opens his hands, a shrug. ]
When we woke up there was no Empire remaining, and we didn't want to find out if we were wrong. Then Rey was born, and then Skywalker came, and Rey was left behind.
[ That he was Leia's brother. Not that it changes much of what would have happened, he thinks; while Cassian could have thrown himself into politicking to try and recoup from abandoning his child when her mother had been abandoned over and over again by every parent she ever loved, Jyn could not.
Would not.
It wouldn't have changed anything for the better, at least. Best that they suffered separately, together. ]
He said she wouldn't have survived otherwise. None of us would have, but that wasn't the deciding factor.
[ The words are out before he thinks that maybe, maybe, it would be best not to say them. Behind the shock of successive revelations is a building anger as he thinks of his own parents, or some of his friends who have chosen to have children. Leaving their family in the care of others until the war is over. That, he gets. But to leave a child behind, alone, with no contact and no idea why? ]
Why didn't he take her? Why didn't he give her to someone who would actually-- [ Poe cuts himself off, jaw working around unspoken outrage. ] ...How'd she take finding out?
[ Obviously not too bad, considering Cassian's still here. ]
[ Welcome to Force users, he thinks, but that's not entirely true; had Chirrut or Baze been alive it would have been easy, or at least easier, to give Rey away. Neither of the Guardians would have been keen on the idea of abandoning her alone.
She would have had someone. ]
I got the impression that he was Done. I don't know why he didn't take her. [ Cassian raises a shoulder in a shrug. ] Hell of a lot better than Jyn would have.
[ Jyn Erso. Cassian Andor. Luke Skywalker leaving Rey on Jakku, out of the reach of parents who deserve so much better than to lose a child. Rey, who deserves so much better than to be alone.
Human error overturning lives. The Force couldn't have meant for it to be this way. ]
You want a drink?
[ The rag goes into Poe's pants pocket. He lifts the side panel of Black One back into place, sealing the hull again. ] We can go to the pilot's lounge, or my... [ Poe wrinkles his nose. ] My office. No one will look for me there, so we won't be interrupted.
[ He could let Poe choose - clearly he's not too keen on his office, but not being interrupted is something of a bonus. Poe is a popular figure on base, understandably, and Cassian figures they'd get about ten minutes in before the interruptions outweighed the actual conversation. ]
A drink sounds good.
[ Just one, Cassian is certain, because he had to reteach himself how to limit after...everything. The Fallout, as it is so neatly labeled in his mind. ]
[ Poe knows how to do that. He heads from the apron into the cool dimness of the base, pausing frequently as someone calls his name or tries to get his attention. By the time they make it to the quiet hall with the little rooms designated as officers' workspace, he's thinking this was a good choice in spite of his distaste.
The office is, like the others, small, with a simple chair, a simple desk, and a stool Poe stole from the mess hall. The few surfaces are an organized kind of messy. ] Take the chair.
[ Poe extracts a small bottle from a desk drawer. ] The stuff in he pilot's lounge is stronger. Could go get that if you prefer. I don't drink much.
[ Cassian does take the chair, folding his hands in his lap, but shakes his head at the offer for anything stronger. ]
I don't drink much anymore, so. This will be fine.
[ Really it is just something to hold and occupy his hands with, something to occasionally sip. It's not the driving force here, and far from the point. Whatever Poe is offering will be more than fine. ]
[ It takes a little more digging to find two cups -- different sizes, different shapes. Poe pours out a small measure for each of them and offers one to Cassian. ]
[ Cassian takes the cup, holds it in the fingers of one hand and tries to figure out how to explain this. Not the dreams, exactly, but what it meant, for Jyn's faith lost in personal suffering and Cassian's disinterested faith in a power he can't reason with on any level. ]
We don't talk about our dreams, so of course we ended up arguing about this one. I thought it was worth a shot, she's...anyway. News about the Starkiller base reached even the Outer Rim. It was too similar, the thread in the stories. The orphan, the resistance, the turncoat for all the right reasons.
[ He taps his fingers against the side of the, finally taking a sip. ]
Of course it's in my nature to dig. To uncover forgotten details, piece together a bigger picture with less of a hidden background. Takes time. I just did it on the move.
[ It's a petty grievance, but one Poe needs to make. He won't hear any variation of the word traitor in reference to Finn, not now that he's part of the Resistance.
And it distracts from the prickle of goosebumps, the inexplicable feeling of something moving in the room as Cassian speaks. Poe doesn't think he's ever felt the presence of the Force, but a nervous part of him wonders if that stirring is it or if it's his imagination. ]
Okay. But why? What is it you want to accomplish?
[ Another way to phrase it: What warning does Cassian bring? ]
Of course not. He's a good man with a conscience, who did the right thing and saved your life. I know something about those.
[ Maybe it's easier, that Bodhi died a hero instead of having to fight for his rightful place in the Rebellion, but part of Cassian feels the loss that his quickly-made friend isn't here to help Finn adjust. ]
I wanted to see my daughter, primarily.
[ Fuck Skywalker and his shit, to be honest. Cassian had enough of his family falling apart, being apart. He had to do something. ]
There's a fight and I've been on the sidelines too long.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
you know why I'm here
Date: 2017-04-27 04:08 am (UTC)Right now he's dealing via avoiding and avoiding via running into Poe Dameron near Black One.
'Running into' as if Cassian didn't more or less plot to do this.
Anyway, running into consists of being there when Poe approaches and giving a bit of a smile. ]
Hello. You must be Poe.
no subject
Date: 2017-04-27 04:14 am (UTC)Come to think of it, he looks familiar.
Ah. Wait. Poe remembers now. ]
You're the guy Rey's been hanging around with the past few days.
[ He's heard murmurs, of course he has, but Poe never pays too much attention to gossip. It's gossip, after all. It's better to get the truth from the source. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-27 06:07 am (UTC)Granted, it's about Rey and that wouldn't be a stretch in anyone's imagination to begin with, so. ]
I am.
[ But since that wasn't actually question, Cassian just raises his eyebrows and waits for one. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-27 06:15 am (UTC)[ He ducks past Cassian to get his tools. He came out here to spend a little quality time with Black One, not try and guess what strangers are thinking.
He loosens one of the panels on the starfighter's side, pulling it away to show the heavy machinery underneath. ]
You got something shorter?
no subject
Date: 2017-04-27 06:32 am (UTC)It's a bad habit borne out of a strange life, not introducing myself. [ Like a normal person, but then again, what has been 'normal' about his existence thus far? ]
Cassian. [ A beat. ] Andor.
[ There may be a reaction. There may not be. It's a lot easier if there isn't, because if there is, there's odd questions after. Like how did you survive and are you aging, neither of which he has a good, solid answer for.
Also what are you doing here now, which, he does have answers for. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-27 06:39 am (UTC)But it isn't because he shares a name with a hero of the Rebellion. There's probably a lot of Leias out there, at least a few of the lesser-known names.
No, it gets Poe's attention for two very specific reasons. ]
Andor. Like Rey's been calling herself. [ Then: ] So you're the one the General wants to feed to a rancor.
no subject
Date: 2017-04-27 06:50 am (UTC)And, ah. Cassian's expression does something at that, a little abashed and a bit nervous with a mix of amusement for good measure. ]
I suspect she does. [ He will talk to her. He will. He just knows what it will lead to, and...he's stalling for time. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-27 07:01 am (UTC)She'll get past it. If it's for Rey, she'll get past it. So you're... you're actually Rey's.... [ Her brother? Poe sizes Cassian up, a thought occurring to him that he doesn't like. ] You going to ask her to leave with you? Or are you staying here?
no subject
Date: 2017-04-27 07:09 am (UTC)It definitely wasn't for fun, [ comes the answer, as Cassian lets go. ] Father. [ He expects more sizing up, at that revelation, but Cassian shakes his head. ] No, I...[ Cassian pauses; he's not sure how this is all going to suss out, really. ] If her mother can be convinced to come on her own, then I'm staying. Otherwise I'll go back and get her, and return.
no subject
Date: 2017-04-27 07:17 am (UTC)[ He's heard stories about people who live preternaturally long lives with the help of the Force. He can't remember if those stories included any mention of whether or not the people involved aged.
Poe turns the rag over between his fingers, dirtying both his hands and not noticing. ]
That's good. [ He's not smiling any more. ] She was just starting to feel like a part of this place. I don't want her to lose that, too.
no subject
Date: 2017-04-27 07:27 am (UTC)Is it? Good, I mean. [ Cassian puts up a hand before Poe can barrel him over with the affirmative (or perhaps a threat regarding Rey's emotional well-being.) ] It complicates things, for her, for the movement, my being here, and I realize that. Recognize that. I know what it means to have something like this as family, and I have no intention of taking her away from the people she cares about.
[ Which isn't to say she doesn't care about him or Jyn but the reality is she doesn't know them yet and they left her behind. ]
I'm sure you have questions, different ones from hers. [ The decision to offer answers freely is rooted in Poe's concern, and the distance he's trying to create between himself and it. Cassian gives a nod. ] You may as well ask them.
[ They'll be different from Leia's too, he's sure. And Finn's, whose questions Cassian can't even begin to predict and it frightens him in a way. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-27 07:34 am (UTC)[ His fidgeting stops.
It isn't coincidence. It isn't the case of a shared name, it can't be a case of being named after a famous Rebel. ]
You're Cassian Andor. You're the Cassian Andor. You were part of Rogue One. You-- You... How are you here?
[ Cassian Andor is standing right in front of him, looking as young as he must have during the attack on Scarif.
The part of him still processing thinks, Of course Rey's parents are heroes. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-27 08:20 am (UTC)Jyn was wearing a kyber necklace - as far as we know, that probably had something to do with it. How we ended up in bacta tanks in the Outer Rim years later? Why we were the only ones, why neither of us are going grey, I don't know. We lives, we breathe, we bleed. We had a child.
[ He opens his hands, a shrug. ]
When we woke up there was no Empire remaining, and we didn't want to find out if we were wrong. Then Rey was born, and then Skywalker came, and Rey was left behind.
no subject
Date: 2017-04-27 04:00 pm (UTC)You're telling me Luke Skywalker, the General's brother, made you abandon Rey.
[ It's appalling. It goes against everything he would expect from a hero or the Rebellion, everything he would expect from the brother of Leia Organa.
And he believes it. That's the worst part. He believes it. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-27 05:04 pm (UTC)[ That he was Leia's brother. Not that it changes much of what would have happened, he thinks; while Cassian could have thrown himself into politicking to try and recoup from abandoning his child when her mother had been abandoned over and over again by every parent she ever loved, Jyn could not.
Would not.
It wouldn't have changed anything for the better, at least. Best that they suffered separately, together. ]
He said she wouldn't have survived otherwise. None of us would have, but that wasn't the deciding factor.
no subject
Date: 2017-04-27 05:27 pm (UTC)[ The words are out before he thinks that maybe, maybe, it would be best not to say them. Behind the shock of successive revelations is a building anger as he thinks of his own parents, or some of his friends who have chosen to have children. Leaving their family in the care of others until the war is over. That, he gets. But to leave a child behind, alone, with no contact and no idea why? ]
Why didn't he take her? Why didn't he give her to someone who would actually-- [ Poe cuts himself off, jaw working around unspoken outrage. ] ...How'd she take finding out?
[ Obviously not too bad, considering Cassian's still here. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-28 03:35 pm (UTC)[ Welcome to Force users, he thinks, but that's not entirely true; had Chirrut or Baze been alive it would have been easy, or at least easier, to give Rey away. Neither of the Guardians would have been keen on the idea of abandoning her alone.
She would have had someone. ]
I got the impression that he was Done. I don't know why he didn't take her. [ Cassian raises a shoulder in a shrug. ] Hell of a lot better than Jyn would have.
[ She forgave them, for one. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-28 03:52 pm (UTC)Human error overturning lives. The Force couldn't have meant for it to be this way. ]
You want a drink?
[ The rag goes into Poe's pants pocket. He lifts the side panel of Black One back into place, sealing the hull again. ] We can go to the pilot's lounge, or my... [ Poe wrinkles his nose. ] My office. No one will look for me there, so we won't be interrupted.
no subject
Date: 2017-04-28 04:52 pm (UTC)A drink sounds good.
[ Just one, Cassian is certain, because he had to reteach himself how to limit after...everything. The Fallout, as it is so neatly labeled in his mind. ]
Less interruptions are better. Lead on.
no subject
Date: 2017-04-28 05:17 pm (UTC)The office is, like the others, small, with a simple chair, a simple desk, and a stool Poe stole from the mess hall. The few surfaces are an organized kind of messy. ] Take the chair.
[ Poe extracts a small bottle from a desk drawer. ] The stuff in he pilot's lounge is stronger. Could go get that if you prefer. I don't drink much.
no subject
Date: 2017-04-28 05:42 pm (UTC)I don't drink much anymore, so. This will be fine.
[ Really it is just something to hold and occupy his hands with, something to occasionally sip. It's not the driving force here, and far from the point. Whatever Poe is offering will be more than fine. ]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-28 06:32 pm (UTC)Why now? Why come back now?
no subject
Date: 2017-04-28 06:51 pm (UTC)[ Cassian takes the cup, holds it in the fingers of one hand and tries to figure out how to explain this. Not the dreams, exactly, but what it meant, for Jyn's faith lost in personal suffering and Cassian's disinterested faith in a power he can't reason with on any level. ]
We don't talk about our dreams, so of course we ended up arguing about this one. I thought it was worth a shot, she's...anyway. News about the Starkiller base reached even the Outer Rim. It was too similar, the thread in the stories. The orphan, the resistance, the turncoat for all the right reasons.
[ He taps his fingers against the side of the, finally taking a sip. ]
Of course it's in my nature to dig. To uncover forgotten details, piece together a bigger picture with less of a hidden background. Takes time. I just did it on the move.
no subject
Date: 2017-04-28 08:19 pm (UTC)[ It's a petty grievance, but one Poe needs to make. He won't hear any variation of the word traitor in reference to Finn, not now that he's part of the Resistance.
And it distracts from the prickle of goosebumps, the inexplicable feeling of something moving in the room as Cassian speaks. Poe doesn't think he's ever felt the presence of the Force, but a nervous part of him wonders if that stirring is it or if it's his imagination. ]
Okay. But why? What is it you want to accomplish?
[ Another way to phrase it: What warning does Cassian bring? ]
no subject
Date: 2017-04-28 08:35 pm (UTC)[ Maybe it's easier, that Bodhi died a hero instead of having to fight for his rightful place in the Rebellion, but part of Cassian feels the loss that his quickly-made friend isn't here to help Finn adjust. ]
I wanted to see my daughter, primarily.
[ Fuck Skywalker and his shit, to be honest. Cassian had enough of his family falling apart, being apart. He had to do something. ]
There's a fight and I've been on the sidelines too long.
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