[ Cassian has been on D'Qar for...a handful of days. A lot of those days have been spent with Rey, because he has a lot of time to catch up on, but she's also an adult and a Force user and honestly at some point it reaches the General just who is here and then Cassian has to deal with that.
Right now he's dealing via avoiding and avoiding via running into Poe Dameron near Black One.
'Running into' as if Cassian didn't more or less plot to do this.
Anyway, running into consists of being there when Poe approaches and giving a bit of a smile. ]
Yeah, that's me. [ He ducks under the nose of his baby, giving her a once-over glance. This guy doesn't seem like a tech. But no one is unsettled by his presence, either.
Come to think of it, he looks familiar.
Ah. Wait. Poe remembers now. ]
You're the guy Rey's been hanging around with the past few days.
[ He's heard murmurs, of course he has, but Poe never pays too much attention to gossip. It's gossip, after all. It's better to get the truth from the source. ]
[ Cassian gives a little nod and a half-formed smile. Pilots can be amazingly single-minded about their crafts, and this pilot in particular is so comfortable in his own skin that he doesn't pause to wonder why Cassian is seeking him out in the first place.
Granted, it's about Rey and that wouldn't be a stretch in anyone's imagination to begin with, so. ]
I am.
[ But since that wasn't actually question, Cassian just raises his eyebrows and waits for one. ]
[ Poe lets the silence stretch just long enough to be sure that the guy isn't going to say anything else, before he raises his eyebrows. ] Kind of a mouthful, Guy-Rey's-Been-Hanging-Around-With-The-Past-Few-Days.
[ He ducks past Cassian to get his tools. He came out here to spend a little quality time with Black One, not try and guess what strangers are thinking.
He loosens one of the panels on the starfighter's side, pulling it away to show the heavy machinery underneath. ]
[ Alright, so that was actually amusing. Cassian's mouth quirks with it as he lets out a little huff of a laugh. ]
It's a bad habit borne out of a strange life, not introducing myself. [ Like a normal person, but then again, what has been 'normal' about his existence thus far? ]
Cassian. [ A beat. ] Andor.
[ There may be a reaction. There may not be. It's a lot easier if there isn't, because if there is, there's odd questions after. Like how did you survive and are you aging, neither of which he has a good, solid answer for.
Also what are you doing here now, which, he does have answers for. ]
[ Oh, it gets Poe's attention. His full and undivided attention, even while he's got one arm into Black One's guts up to the elbow.
But it isn't because he shares a name with a hero of the Rebellion. There's probably a lot of Leias out there, at least a few of the lesser-known names.
No, it gets Poe's attention for two very specific reasons. ]
Andor. Like Rey's been calling herself. [ Then: ] So you're the one the General wants to feed to a rancor.
It is her name, [ Cassian says, a lot less sharply than he would have a few days ago, but. It doesn't make it any less true, nor does it make the implication any less clear.
And, ah. Cassian's expression does something at that, a little abashed and a bit nervous with a mix of amusement for good measure. ]
I suspect she does. [ He will talk to her. He will. He just knows what it will lead to, and...he's stalling for time. ]
[ Poe grins, working his arm free of Black one and hunting for a rag to wipe off his fingers. That done, he offers Cassian his (cleaner) hand. ]
She'll get past it. If it's for Rey, she'll get past it. So you're... you're actually Rey's.... [ Her brother? Poe sizes Cassian up, a thought occurring to him that he doesn't like. ] You going to ask her to leave with you? Or are you staying here?
It definitely wasn't for fun, [ comes the answer, as Cassian lets go. ] Father. [ He expects more sizing up, at that revelation, but Cassian shakes his head. ] No, I...[ Cassian pauses; he's not sure how this is all going to suss out, really. ] If her mother can be convinced to come on her own, then I'm staying. Otherwise I'll go back and get her, and return.
"Care," he says, the nickname meant to be reassuring. "It's okay."
It's so strange, the things she doesn't know, the fact that she can still keep up with so much of what goes on around her.
It's good that she's holding his hand. It makes it easier to pull her close, makes it hurt less to sit up and draw her face toward his for a proper, real kiss. (Complete with tongue, because this is an Oscar Isaac character we're talking about here.)
The nurse looks skyward, clearly impatient and no less clearly amused.
In part, the kiss is an impulse. He can't completely enjoy it, the plush of her lips and the silk of her hair under his fingers, not with pain pressing against his ribs.
In part, the kiss is a reminder. This vibrant, beautiful person is here for him. That she's lost so much and is capable of loving so much is a miracle he wants to preserve--which in part means taking his treatments without argument. The sooner he's back on his feet, the sooner she'll hopefully stop worrying. She's building her life here slowly, but the truth is still that they still just have each other and the General, at bottom. Cassian and Jyn are off on their own, still struggling with the reality of continuing war. Those five people, the only ones that understand what happened for those few days when they were all "missing," and Caroline alone among them.
In part, it's an affirmation. Black Squadron doesn't understand how he can care so much about Caroline after two days, and for once he can't explain. His friends, his real friends, have tried to accept it, as much as it confuses them. Caroline and Poe are a continuous font of rumors and speculation, and while Poe is comfortable ignoring it all, he has to wonder if it gets to Caroline. In part, he's saying It'll be fine.
Before he met her, he never would have guessed that a kiss could be so many things at once.
Of course, it gets to her. If she'd still been a vampire, she'd be more impressive, she'd be able to show her worth to the Rebellion. She'd have been an incredible asset with her invincibility, with her dream walking and ability to compel people. But she was human now. She was simply a human who was in a world that was not her own, completely foreign.
And while, yes, she'd done her usual Caroline Forbes thing, showing up and giving her new role her all, she still felt unsteady on her feet (a fact she managed to hide quite well from everyone). There were whispers about her, of course, there were. Poe was well-known face and she was a stranger who'd managed to capture his attention for more than just a fleeting moment. Caroline's not in high school anymore but it sort of feels like she's back in it.
Worst of all, if she lost him, she'd be alone here. It's a truth she was still grappling with, but one she refused to think about much. Denial was something Caroline was always good at, distracting herself from those thoughts were easy when she was doing all she could to get him back, then to help him get better.
Yes, she has the General and Jyn and Cassian but they wouldn't have time for her. If Poe were to... she'd survive, she'd find a way (she always did) but it was frankly unthinkable. So she hadn't been thinking about it. Easy as that.
She makes a soft sound of discontent when he pulls her into a kiss, one that has to hurt him to give her. And yet, she returns it, her worriedly furrowed brow loosening for a brief moment. When his tongue slides against her own, she makes another sound, pulling away with a laugh, her eyes flickering towards the nurse before she looks at him. "You're impossible," she says breathlessly, still smiling, her hands moving to cradle his face as she presses another, softer kiss on his forehead. "Go on. Go get better."
This time when Poe wakes up, he's in his own quarters, a clear sign that the medics have ruled him healthy enough to be unsupervised, even if he still aches all over. He dreamed, blurred images and furious questions and the sparkle of Force pikes slammed into his ribs.
Not a pleasant way to spend a drugged sleep.
He flexes the fingers of his formerly-broken arm, testing it gingerly. It hurts, of course, but he can move it at least. The stabbing pain in his chest is lessened, and he can breathe without it stinging his sides. He is well and truly (if painfully) alive.
One of the benefits of having the General in on their little secret was that she was able to give Caroline access to thinks she'd need to understand their world better. And in her spare time, Caroline had been scrambling to catch up with years and years of history that she should be aware. The excuse of being from a sparsely populated, outlying planet could only take you so far.
So when Poe starts to stir, Caroline's leaning over the small desk space in his quarters, reading a holo that's featuring the history of the New Republic, as it would be taught to a child. It's easier to start with the basics because well, like history back home, most people only remember the big events, not the more specific ones.
Her eyes lift from the text to make sure she actually heard something and that's when she sees him move his hand and give a painful, drugged out sort of 'yay'. She moves to his side instantly, kneeling beside his bed, letting out a breath of relief. "I'm not sure I'm ever going to get used to the way hospitals work here." She'd been glad that it was the last treatment for him and that he's back in his quarters.
He sits up experimentally, incrementally, until he's satisfied that he can be at least half-upright without suddenly hemorrhaging blood all over the place. (Yaay.)
"Intact," he says, and smiles at her. He's not going to think about how hospitals work where she's from. It brings back memories of days spent by her bed while she wasted away and the doctors there did nothing. If they'd had bacta tanks she would have been all right.
Just to prove his own all rightness, he uses his formerly broken arm and brushes a stray bit of hair back from her face.
Intact isn't the best answer he could give but it's the truth. And that's all she wants from him. It's hard to truly grasp that he's alright, given when he came in he looked like he was knocking on death's door. It's a marvel to behold. A modern, medical miracle she'll accept happily.
The next breath that leaves her lungs is one she didn't realize she'd been holding in. It's shaky and haggard as he tucks a piece of her hair back from her face. It hits her, hard, just how close she'd been to losing him. It wasn't that she'd be alone in this world that was so far beyond her own, Caroline was resourceful. It was that if she had lost him, he wouldn't be here. It's that simple, heart-rending fact that makes her chest tighten.
Against her wishes, tears start to well up in her eyes, despite her desire to remain strong for him, to keep on being that rock he needs. She moves closer to him, her hands finding his face as she shakes her head, her mouth twisting in an attempt to keep from crying. No, no, do not turn into a blubbering idiot. That isn't what he needs.
"I was so scared," she whispers softly, her eyes lowering for a moment. "You were just there and I couldn't... I was totally helpless. I couldn't help you." If she'd been a vampire still, he'd be completely healed. But she wasn't and he wasn't. She closes her eyes and leans forward to press her forehead to his. "I almost lost you."
In all his missions, through all his close calls, even his capture by the First Order, Poe has never had someone cry for him. Not even his father, though Kes came close on that last one. He's shocked, which is novel in and of itself. He doesn't know what to do with it.
She's crying for him, and he can't promise her this will never happen again. He can't even promise it won't happen tomorrow.
It's a monumental reorientation of his relationship with death, to consider what it's like for her while he's out there. It can't be the natural conclusion for him any more. It can't be the probable outcome. He needs to live. She needs him to live. The thought of failure is suddenly terrifying, and he can't afford the fear.
"Caroline...." He can't even think of something to say. Some boyfriend.
Instead he starts to lay back down, trying to draw her onto the narrow bed with him. "C'mere."
She doesn't realize how her need for him to live is turning his world on its axis. He has to know how it feels, she imagines the same look that had been in his eyes when she'd awoken from her own coma is quite similar to the one that's in her eyes now.
And yet, the feeling is not so novel to her, she knows how it feels to have that worry, to have others be just as worried about her. Her life back home was just as dangerous, if not moreso. It may be selfish for her to love him, it might spark some change in him that may not benefit the Rebellion as much as his unrelenting loyalty to the cause did.
Love brings about other loyalties.
The only reason she hesitates when he tries to urge her onto the bed with him is because she doesn't want to hurt him. But she reminds herself that he'll be okay, so she moves, crawling up onto the bed with him, waiting for him to scoot over so that she can lay next to him. "I'm sorry." For crying, for making him feel bad.
[ It's not that he's not happy to be here. It's Hogwarts, after all. Big. Familiar. The same old sense of relief crossing the threshold, the same old comfort in knowing that for nine months, give or take, he knows exactly what he has to work towards and what it'll take to get there.
The habitual belief that for nine months, give or take, he can almost definitely feel safe. Maybe not permanently, but-- long enough. Some things never do change.
It's good money. It's stable work. It's one of the safest places to be.
He really, really does love Charms. He really does feel better being back than he did probably trying to live magic-free like the three fairies in Sleeping Beauty I guess, still workshopping details on that.
(If he turns around and starts running and doesn't stop until he winds up back on their doorstep, Rey will definitely remind him of all those things. Loudly. Possibly while giving him a good whack with her broom.
He'll leave thinking about not doing this out of his first letter, even though she probably knows he's thought about it already.)
All that said, he hates this building and regrets setting foot in it again. To quote many a wizard across the fictional wizard compendium: Merlin's fucking beard, why is this castle like this. Finn is three wrong turns and one either especially stupid or especially mischievous painting's directions deep. He just wants to find his quarters and find his classroom and. Well, find pretty much everything else, which is at least sort of in progress whether he likes it or not.
What he knows is he's mid-way up some??? Tower? So all things considered, probably supposed to be heading downwards. Slytherin still hangs in the dungeons, right. He's probably on the same floor as them. Naturally now that he's feeling better about his odds, namely that he's decided to go down a bunch of stairs until he gets where he needs to be or he dies, the first staircase he picks takes a hard swing left while he's halfway down. Can't believe his whole entire life is ruined. Wow.
Okay nah, it's not ruined. But he's feeling, how do you say... je suis sick of this shit. So he very maturely sits down on this very staircase. He is either waiting for death or for it to move back to where it was.
Could've gotten a job at a fish market or something. Bring home free food. ]
Nobody built this castle with children in mind! [ THINK OF THE CHILDREN. HIM. HE'S THE CHILDREN. Actually, he remembers not having much trouble with this after his first couple of days, back in the day. Discount the fact that he was terrified of having a note sent back remarking on his routine tardiness, and how that may have kept him up at night for a long while.
It's almost like navigating magic castle mcprankface takes more than 10 minutes to pick back up.
He's technically speaking to the painting he sees near the bottom of the steps. It might just be a regular painting hanging there, though? Or the portrait is out on official business. It is. It's in no way living or mobile right now. Local Professor Yells At Acrylic Fruit Bowl Rendering. ]
[ Poe hears that voice echoing through the halls and laughs, running up another moving staircase and taking a flying leap from the top and onto the landing of one of the staircases below. He's pretty sure Finn is down, or at least that's where the shout seems to have echoed from.
He's been looking forward to seeing his friend in person ever since he got the letter announcing the teaching staff and confirming his place on it. He's been looking forward even more to spending some real time with him. It's been ages since they've had more than a week here, a weekend there.
He hums under his breath as he takes another jump, this one just down a set of stairs instead of from one to the other. Under his breath: ]
Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts, Teach us something please, Whether we be old and bald, Or young with scabby knees.
[ No Finn yet. Maybe the guy is still moving, trying to find his way to wherever he's going, which is probably the Slytherin common room or thereabouts.
Poe stops and cups his hands around his mouth to shout. In all caps. Gotta stay true to brand. ]
[ Credit where credit is due. That heinously loud all caps shout, as it echoes through the same halls right back to point A over here, is definitely a sound for sore ears. Or however it is that that expression goes. He thinks it checks out.
Finn can't even see him yet and the enthusiasm is already infectious. There's a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth whether he likes it or not.
He did forget to pencil Poe in on his pros and cons of this job list, officially.
It's a big pro. ]
If I don't move, the castle will!
[ Bold words for a man who hasn't stood back up. ]
[ Poe is a Gryffindor through and through. He's missed every ridiculous, stupid, eccentric thing about this building, including its tendency to make a person get hopelessly lost the first few weeks of residence. He's fully prepared for his flight students to laugh at him and his DADA students to wonder if they're allowed to.
Poe jumps another railing and lands on Finn's staircase, two flights up. ]
[ He forgets with every stretch of time between talking to Poe just how much energy the man has. Raw enthusiasm. Daring, nerve, and chivalry, etc., the full Gryffindor spiel.
They wouldn't go amiss if they swapped out the lion for Poe's face, honestly. He'd make a nice mascot.
Finn finally takes it upon himself to get back onto his feet. The finding is done. Now events can proceed to the next event on the docket: climbing the stairs for what he's 95% sure will be a hug. ]
There you are.
[ He tries to be exasperated. It's immediately swallowed up by fondness.
He's missed Poe. Arguably a lot more than he's missed Hogwarts in general, at current. ]
And apparently you still haven't remembered to look up what "great" actually means. I don't think you'll find a picture of moving staircases next to it in the book.
[ His entire morning experience just blew up all over the place. It took a sharp turn into a no holds barred hug and enough rapid fire questions to remind Finn he's a teacher now, weirdly enough. But that's good. It blew up in a good way.
That's always been the other thing about Hogwarts. Find the right people, it feels like coming home. More than he ever thought he'd get, really.
Poe's always been good at that.
Finn barks out a laugh in spite of himself, returning the hug with, if not as much bone-crushing vigor, at least enough genuine warmth to match. ]
You want those answers in essay form, Professor? [ See how super not frustrated he is, wow. He did a joke. No, he still hates the stairs. ] She's good. We've been good. You look good, too.
[ Not that Poe has ever had a problem with that, ever. Except maybe one or two notable noodle incidents. ]
I've been here for a couple of hours, and yeah. Be nice to find the dungeons before I have to report in to my first class as a ghost.
[ Hogwarts: it's the Millennium Falcon of Castles. ]
I'll help you. Maybe we'll come across some early arrivals and get to scare them with our teacher faces.
[ If Poe had a teacher face, it would most definitely not be scary. He ignores this fact, bulling onward as he turns Finn around and starts descending the staircase, ignoring the other fact that it's started to move again. Keep going down and eventually you hit the bottom. Makes perfect sense. Even if they have to go up to go down a few times. That's just how Hogwarts rolls, and it's part of the fun of the place.
God, he's missed these halls. And here he is, a teacher. A teacher. He doesn't know if he'll be any good at DADA, but he knows he'll be a decent flight instructor. That much he does in the outside world, too. There's a surprising lack of certified broom flight instructors outside of institutions like Hogwarts, and a surprising number of adults who never learned or kids who want to start early.
The entire previous paragraph is all stuff that Poe tells Finn in an extensive ramble that carries them all the way to the doors of the Great Hall. ]
And somehow, we're here.
[ A declaration which gets them no closer to the dungeons. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
you know why I'm here
Date: 2017-04-27 04:08 am (UTC)Right now he's dealing via avoiding and avoiding via running into Poe Dameron near Black One.
'Running into' as if Cassian didn't more or less plot to do this.
Anyway, running into consists of being there when Poe approaches and giving a bit of a smile. ]
Hello. You must be Poe.
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Date: 2017-04-27 04:14 am (UTC)Come to think of it, he looks familiar.
Ah. Wait. Poe remembers now. ]
You're the guy Rey's been hanging around with the past few days.
[ He's heard murmurs, of course he has, but Poe never pays too much attention to gossip. It's gossip, after all. It's better to get the truth from the source. ]
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Date: 2017-04-27 06:07 am (UTC)Granted, it's about Rey and that wouldn't be a stretch in anyone's imagination to begin with, so. ]
I am.
[ But since that wasn't actually question, Cassian just raises his eyebrows and waits for one. ]
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Date: 2017-04-27 06:15 am (UTC)[ He ducks past Cassian to get his tools. He came out here to spend a little quality time with Black One, not try and guess what strangers are thinking.
He loosens one of the panels on the starfighter's side, pulling it away to show the heavy machinery underneath. ]
You got something shorter?
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Date: 2017-04-27 06:32 am (UTC)It's a bad habit borne out of a strange life, not introducing myself. [ Like a normal person, but then again, what has been 'normal' about his existence thus far? ]
Cassian. [ A beat. ] Andor.
[ There may be a reaction. There may not be. It's a lot easier if there isn't, because if there is, there's odd questions after. Like how did you survive and are you aging, neither of which he has a good, solid answer for.
Also what are you doing here now, which, he does have answers for. ]
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Date: 2017-04-27 06:39 am (UTC)But it isn't because he shares a name with a hero of the Rebellion. There's probably a lot of Leias out there, at least a few of the lesser-known names.
No, it gets Poe's attention for two very specific reasons. ]
Andor. Like Rey's been calling herself. [ Then: ] So you're the one the General wants to feed to a rancor.
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Date: 2017-04-27 06:50 am (UTC)And, ah. Cassian's expression does something at that, a little abashed and a bit nervous with a mix of amusement for good measure. ]
I suspect she does. [ He will talk to her. He will. He just knows what it will lead to, and...he's stalling for time. ]
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Date: 2017-04-27 07:01 am (UTC)She'll get past it. If it's for Rey, she'll get past it. So you're... you're actually Rey's.... [ Her brother? Poe sizes Cassian up, a thought occurring to him that he doesn't like. ] You going to ask her to leave with you? Or are you staying here?
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Date: 2017-04-27 07:09 am (UTC)It definitely wasn't for fun, [ comes the answer, as Cassian lets go. ] Father. [ He expects more sizing up, at that revelation, but Cassian shakes his head. ] No, I...[ Cassian pauses; he's not sure how this is all going to suss out, really. ] If her mother can be convinced to come on her own, then I'm staying. Otherwise I'll go back and get her, and return.
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Date: 2017-11-05 05:00 am (UTC)"Care," he says, the nickname meant to be reassuring. "It's okay."
It's so strange, the things she doesn't know, the fact that she can still keep up with so much of what goes on around her.
It's good that she's holding his hand. It makes it easier to pull her close, makes it hurt less to sit up and draw her face toward his for a proper, real kiss. (Complete with tongue, because this is an Oscar Isaac character we're talking about here.)
The nurse looks skyward, clearly impatient and no less clearly amused.
In part, the kiss is an impulse. He can't completely enjoy it, the plush of her lips and the silk of her hair under his fingers, not with pain pressing against his ribs.
In part, the kiss is a reminder. This vibrant, beautiful person is here for him. That she's lost so much and is capable of loving so much is a miracle he wants to preserve--which in part means taking his treatments without argument. The sooner he's back on his feet, the sooner she'll hopefully stop worrying. She's building her life here slowly, but the truth is still that they still just have each other and the General, at bottom. Cassian and Jyn are off on their own, still struggling with the reality of continuing war. Those five people, the only ones that understand what happened for those few days when they were all "missing," and Caroline alone among them.
In part, it's an affirmation. Black Squadron doesn't understand how he can care so much about Caroline after two days, and for once he can't explain. His friends, his real friends, have tried to accept it, as much as it confuses them. Caroline and Poe are a continuous font of rumors and speculation, and while Poe is comfortable ignoring it all, he has to wonder if it gets to Caroline. In part, he's saying It'll be fine.
Before he met her, he never would have guessed that a kiss could be so many things at once.
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Date: 2017-11-05 05:17 am (UTC)And while, yes, she'd done her usual Caroline Forbes thing, showing up and giving her new role her all, she still felt unsteady on her feet (a fact she managed to hide quite well from everyone). There were whispers about her, of course, there were. Poe was well-known face and she was a stranger who'd managed to capture his attention for more than just a fleeting moment. Caroline's not in high school anymore but it sort of feels like she's back in it.
Worst of all, if she lost him, she'd be alone here. It's a truth she was still grappling with, but one she refused to think about much. Denial was something Caroline was always good at, distracting herself from those thoughts were easy when she was doing all she could to get him back, then to help him get better.
Yes, she has the General and Jyn and Cassian but they wouldn't have time for her. If Poe were to... she'd survive, she'd find a way (she always did) but it was frankly unthinkable. So she hadn't been thinking about it. Easy as that.
She makes a soft sound of discontent when he pulls her into a kiss, one that has to hurt him to give her. And yet, she returns it, her worriedly furrowed brow loosening for a brief moment. When his tongue slides against her own, she makes another sound, pulling away with a laugh, her eyes flickering towards the nurse before she looks at him. "You're impossible," she says breathlessly, still smiling, her hands moving to cradle his face as she presses another, softer kiss on his forehead. "Go on. Go get better."
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Date: 2017-11-05 05:37 am (UTC)Not a pleasant way to spend a drugged sleep.
He flexes the fingers of his formerly-broken arm, testing it gingerly. It hurts, of course, but he can move it at least. The stabbing pain in his chest is lessened, and he can breathe without it stinging his sides. He is well and truly (if painfully) alive.
"Yaay."
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Date: 2017-11-05 05:50 am (UTC)So when Poe starts to stir, Caroline's leaning over the small desk space in his quarters, reading a holo that's featuring the history of the New Republic, as it would be taught to a child. It's easier to start with the basics because well, like history back home, most people only remember the big events, not the more specific ones.
Her eyes lift from the text to make sure she actually heard something and that's when she sees him move his hand and give a painful, drugged out sort of 'yay'. She moves to his side instantly, kneeling beside his bed, letting out a breath of relief. "I'm not sure I'm ever going to get used to the way hospitals work here." She'd been glad that it was the last treatment for him and that he's back in his quarters.
"How do you feel?"
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Date: 2017-11-05 06:03 am (UTC)"Intact," he says, and smiles at her. He's not going to think about how hospitals work where she's from. It brings back memories of days spent by her bed while she wasted away and the doctors there did nothing. If they'd had bacta tanks she would have been all right.
Just to prove his own all rightness, he uses his formerly broken arm and brushes a stray bit of hair back from her face.
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Date: 2017-11-05 06:14 am (UTC)The next breath that leaves her lungs is one she didn't realize she'd been holding in. It's shaky and haggard as he tucks a piece of her hair back from her face. It hits her, hard, just how close she'd been to losing him. It wasn't that she'd be alone in this world that was so far beyond her own, Caroline was resourceful. It was that if she had lost him, he wouldn't be here. It's that simple, heart-rending fact that makes her chest tighten.
Against her wishes, tears start to well up in her eyes, despite her desire to remain strong for him, to keep on being that rock he needs. She moves closer to him, her hands finding his face as she shakes her head, her mouth twisting in an attempt to keep from crying. No, no, do not turn into a blubbering idiot. That isn't what he needs.
"I was so scared," she whispers softly, her eyes lowering for a moment. "You were just there and I couldn't... I was totally helpless. I couldn't help you." If she'd been a vampire still, he'd be completely healed. But she wasn't and he wasn't. She closes her eyes and leans forward to press her forehead to his. "I almost lost you."
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Date: 2017-11-05 06:30 am (UTC)She's crying for him, and he can't promise her this will never happen again. He can't even promise it won't happen tomorrow.
It's a monumental reorientation of his relationship with death, to consider what it's like for her while he's out there. It can't be the natural conclusion for him any more. It can't be the probable outcome. He needs to live. She needs him to live. The thought of failure is suddenly terrifying, and he can't afford the fear.
"Caroline...." He can't even think of something to say. Some boyfriend.
Instead he starts to lay back down, trying to draw her onto the narrow bed with him. "C'mere."
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Date: 2017-11-05 06:40 am (UTC)And yet, the feeling is not so novel to her, she knows how it feels to have that worry, to have others be just as worried about her. Her life back home was just as dangerous, if not moreso. It may be selfish for her to love him, it might spark some change in him that may not benefit the Rebellion as much as his unrelenting loyalty to the cause did.
Love brings about other loyalties.
The only reason she hesitates when he tries to urge her onto the bed with him is because she doesn't want to hurt him. But she reminds herself that he'll be okay, so she moves, crawling up onto the bed with him, waiting for him to scoot over so that she can lay next to him. "I'm sorry." For crying, for making him feel bad.
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From:september is hogwarts express season i dont make the rules
Date: 2018-09-12 10:47 pm (UTC)The habitual belief that for nine months, give or take, he can almost definitely feel safe. Maybe not permanently, but-- long enough. Some things never do change.
It's good money. It's stable work. It's one of the safest places to be.
He really, really does love Charms. He really does feel better being back than he did probably trying to live magic-free like the three fairies in Sleeping Beauty I guess, still workshopping details on that.
(If he turns around and starts running and doesn't stop until he winds up back on their doorstep, Rey will definitely remind him of all those things. Loudly. Possibly while giving him a good whack with her broom.
He'll leave thinking about not doing this out of his first letter, even though she probably knows he's thought about it already.)
All that said, he hates this building and regrets setting foot in it again. To quote many a wizard across the fictional wizard compendium: Merlin's fucking beard, why is this castle like this. Finn is three wrong turns and one either especially stupid or especially mischievous painting's directions deep. He just wants to find his quarters and find his classroom and. Well, find pretty much everything else, which is at least sort of in progress whether he likes it or not.
What he knows is he's mid-way up some??? Tower? So all things considered, probably supposed to be heading downwards. Slytherin still hangs in the dungeons, right. He's probably on the same floor as them. Naturally now that he's feeling better about his odds, namely that he's decided to go down a bunch of stairs until he gets where he needs to be or he dies, the first staircase he picks takes a hard swing left while he's halfway down. Can't believe his whole entire life is ruined. Wow.
Okay nah, it's not ruined. But he's feeling, how do you say... je suis sick of this shit. So he very maturely sits down on this very staircase. He is either waiting for death or for it to move back to where it was.
Could've gotten a job at a fish market or something. Bring home free food. ]
Nobody built this castle with children in mind! [ THINK OF THE CHILDREN. HIM. HE'S THE CHILDREN. Actually, he remembers not having much trouble with this after his first couple of days, back in the day. Discount the fact that he was terrified of having a note sent back remarking on his routine tardiness, and how that may have kept him up at night for a long while.
It's almost like navigating magic castle mcprankface takes more than 10 minutes to pick back up.
He's technically speaking to the painting he sees near the bottom of the steps. It might just be a regular painting hanging there, though? Or the portrait is out on official business. It is. It's in no way living or mobile right now. Local Professor Yells At Acrylic Fruit Bowl Rendering. ]
YASSSS
Date: 2018-09-30 05:12 pm (UTC)He's been looking forward to seeing his friend in person ever since he got the letter announcing the teaching staff and confirming his place on it. He's been looking forward even more to spending some real time with him. It's been ages since they've had more than a week here, a weekend there.
He hums under his breath as he takes another jump, this one just down a set of stairs instead of from one to the other. Under his breath: ]
Hogwarts, Hogwarts, Hoggy Warty Hogwarts,
Teach us something please,
Whether we be old and bald,
Or young with scabby knees.
[ No Finn yet. Maybe the guy is still moving, trying to find his way to wherever he's going, which is probably the Slytherin common room or thereabouts.
Poe stops and cups his hands around his mouth to shout. In all caps. Gotta stay true to brand. ]
DELPHINUS FINLEY, DON'T MOVE.
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Date: 2018-10-01 11:43 pm (UTC)Finn can't even see him yet and the enthusiasm is already infectious. There's a grin tugging at the corners of his mouth whether he likes it or not.
He did forget to pencil Poe in on his pros and cons of this job list, officially.
It's a big pro. ]
If I don't move, the castle will!
[ Bold words for a man who hasn't stood back up. ]
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Date: 2018-10-02 04:31 am (UTC)[ Poe is a Gryffindor through and through. He's missed every ridiculous, stupid, eccentric thing about this building, including its tendency to make a person get hopelessly lost the first few weeks of residence. He's fully prepared for his flight students to laugh at him and his DADA students to wonder if they're allowed to.
Poe jumps another railing and lands on Finn's staircase, two flights up. ]
There you are!
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Date: 2018-10-04 03:31 am (UTC)They wouldn't go amiss if they swapped out the lion for Poe's face, honestly. He'd make a nice mascot.
Finn finally takes it upon himself to get back onto his feet. The finding is done. Now events can proceed to the next event on the docket: climbing the stairs for what he's 95% sure will be a hug. ]
There you are.
[ He tries to be exasperated. It's immediately swallowed up by fondness.
He's missed Poe. Arguably a lot more than he's missed Hogwarts in general, at current. ]
And apparently you still haven't remembered to look up what "great" actually means. I don't think you'll find a picture of moving staircases next to it in the book.
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Date: 2018-10-05 07:34 pm (UTC)[ And Lo, Finn gets a full-bodied hug that's part bodyslam, because that's how Poe rolls in all universes. ]
You look great! I mean, frustrated, but great. How are you? How's Rey? How long have you been here? I just got in by broom.
[ How else would Poe get there, really? A racing champion not flying in to Hogwarts would be a travesty. ]
Looking for the dungeons?
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Date: 2018-10-10 02:58 pm (UTC)That's always been the other thing about Hogwarts. Find the right people, it feels like coming home. More than he ever thought he'd get, really.
Poe's always been good at that.
Finn barks out a laugh in spite of himself, returning the hug with, if not as much bone-crushing vigor, at least enough genuine warmth to match. ]
You want those answers in essay form, Professor? [ See how super not frustrated he is, wow. He did a joke. No, he still hates the stairs. ] She's good. We've been good. You look good, too.
[ Not that Poe has ever had a problem with that, ever. Except maybe one or two notable noodle incidents. ]
I've been here for a couple of hours, and yeah. Be nice to find the dungeons before I have to report in to my first class as a ghost.
[ Hogwarts: it's the Millennium Falcon of Castles. ]
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Date: 2018-10-18 02:52 am (UTC)I'll help you. Maybe we'll come across some early arrivals and get to scare them with our teacher faces.
[ If Poe had a teacher face, it would most definitely not be scary. He ignores this fact, bulling onward as he turns Finn around and starts descending the staircase, ignoring the other fact that it's started to move again. Keep going down and eventually you hit the bottom. Makes perfect sense. Even if they have to go up to go down a few times. That's just how Hogwarts rolls, and it's part of the fun of the place.
God, he's missed these halls. And here he is, a teacher. A teacher. He doesn't know if he'll be any good at DADA, but he knows he'll be a decent flight instructor. That much he does in the outside world, too. There's a surprising lack of certified broom flight instructors outside of institutions like Hogwarts, and a surprising number of adults who never learned or kids who want to start early.
The entire previous paragraph is all stuff that Poe tells Finn in an extensive ramble that carries them all the way to the doors of the Great Hall. ]
And somehow, we're here.
[ A declaration which gets them no closer to the dungeons. ]
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