Riverview IC Inbox;

[volitaunt]

"Hey, try again later."

|| text || voice || video || action ||

Comments

[volitaunt]

[ It takes a while for him to reply. He's not sure what to say. He's not sure how much he gets to ask for, how honest he gets to be.

But John was there the night he found out that he got Paige Tico and her entire squadron killed.

He can feel himself tearing up as he picks up his device to look at the message again, has felt himself tearing up for going on three weeks now and has beat it down or gotten himself beaten to achieve the same ends. ]

not sure

[deploy]

It's okay if you're not.

It's okay to mourn.

[volitaunt]

[ Poe presses the heel of his palm against the bridge of his nose, making a tiny noise that could be called a sob, if anyone were around to hear it. BB-8 watches from the door to his room, and Poe drives it down again. He forces a smile for the droid, mumbles, "It's nothing, Bee."

The droid makes what can only be called a farting noise.

It's so hard to do this and not just tell John he wants to see him. To just be near him. One good thing, like a lifepod in the black.

He shouldn't get to say this. He doesn't deserve what John gave him, is still giving him. ]

i'm not. i'm really not.

[deploy]

That's alright. I get it.

What do you need?

Time off work?

To talk to someone?

[volitaunt]

not time off work. time off work's the last thing i need.

[ Work is the only time he feels close to sane. ]

you don't have to do this, john.

[deploy]

[He ignores the last part.]

The PG have people for this. They're trained professionals.

Their whole job is to listen without judgment, and to be a neutral party.

I can push your personnel file and get you shortlisted.

[volitaunt]

i don't

i'll be fine.

[deploy]

You're full of shit.

I already assigned someone to your file, in case you change your mind. You won't have to wait as long. They'll contact you with an appt time and date. It's up to you to say yes or no.

Go. Even if you sit there and say nothing for an hour.

Or just talk about her. Who she was. What she did.

[volitaunt]

[ There's a long silence on Poe's end, while he sits down on his floor, back against the bed.

BB-8 rolls over to him and leans his head dome against Poe's arm until he lifts it and the droid can tuck himself in next to Poe's thigh. ]

i'll go.

[ For John, he'll go. ]

[deploy]

Good.

It wasn't your fault. Not this time. Remember that.

Maybe she's with her sister now.

[volitaunt]

maybe.

[deploy]

Where are you?

[volitaunt]

john, you don't owe me any of this.

[deploy]

You're right.

I don't need to owe you anything to give a damn.

We're still comrades.

[volitaunt]

i'm at the apartment. finn's and mine.

[deploy]

When's the last time you ate anything near decent?

Don't lie to me.

[John knows all the tricks.]

[volitaunt]

[ That almost, almost gets a smile out of Poe, even if it's a tired one. ]

finn got us takeout last night.

[deploy]

Did you eat it?

[volitaunt]

some.

[deploy]

Yeah, I'm still sending Finn home with food.

He has orders to make you eat it, and to use force if necessary.

[volitaunt]

i'm not a six year old.

[ He remembers ALL TOO WELL trying to feed a pack of mistrustful hellions okay. ]

[deploy]

I've met more agreeable six year olds.

[volitaunt]

takes one to know one.

[ A noise that could qualify as a laugh. BB-8 swivels his dome to look up at Poe and makes an inquiring noise. ]

It's John, bud.

[ A SUDDEN EXCITED BEEPING and BB-8 broadcasts a flood of ones and zeroes over Poe's device.

Until Poe gets him to stop, anyway.]

bee says hi.

[deploy]

[BB-8 chirps and John smiles.

For a moment, he almost forgets Poe broke up with him. Everything feels like it used to.

Then, with a violent wrenching of his heart, he remembers.]

Hey B.

Take care of this idiot, would you?

I don't want to have to scrape him off the runway.

[volitaunt]

[ BB-8 cuts in again with a cheerful noise of confirmation, and Poe gives the droid's dome a fond shove. ]

Stop that.

[ A pause. ]

pretty sure you've already done that last part. couple of times.