[ As far as Poe is concerned, there is no condition of goodness, no condition of courage. It's a choice, it's always a choice, every day it's a choice. It's a choice he's made so often that he doesn't know how to choose anything else, maybe, but the option to be greater or less than is always there.
BB-8 rolls over to bump lightly against Finn's leg, the droid's own small vote of confidence. ]
Okay.
[ Poe wishes there was some way to communicate to Finn what he expects. What he doesn't. He wishes he could crack open Finn's past and go toe to toe with everyone who ever made the man think he needs to be perfect. That imperfection is some reason for shame.
He wishes he could promise Finn acceptance, sure and unwavering, in a way Finn would believe.
All he can do is keep giving it. All he can do is keep understanding until Finn relaxes into the expectation that's how things will be, at least as far as Poe himself goes.
He can't put words to what Finn did for him. Incidental or not, because he was running or not, because he felt broken or not. Poe hasn't made it clear enough, obviously. He hasn't been able to make Finn understand.
Poe has been ready to die for a very long time. He doesn't want to, that's never been a risk for him--he loves life the way he loves most other things. But he's been ready. Kylo Ren destroyed that balanced peace with death. He made Poe want it. He made Poe wish to be another nameless First Order prisoner, a number slated to be scratched off a list, the sooner... the sooner the better.
Finn saved him. There's no other way to put it, but there's nothing in those three words that explains the breadth of what they mean. ]
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Date: 2017-12-11 02:21 am (UTC)BB-8 rolls over to bump lightly against Finn's leg, the droid's own small vote of confidence. ]
Okay.
[ Poe wishes there was some way to communicate to Finn what he expects. What he doesn't. He wishes he could crack open Finn's past and go toe to toe with everyone who ever made the man think he needs to be perfect. That imperfection is some reason for shame.
He wishes he could promise Finn acceptance, sure and unwavering, in a way Finn would believe.
All he can do is keep giving it. All he can do is keep understanding until Finn relaxes into the expectation that's how things will be, at least as far as Poe himself goes.
He can't put words to what Finn did for him. Incidental or not, because he was running or not, because he felt broken or not. Poe hasn't made it clear enough, obviously. He hasn't been able to make Finn understand.
Poe has been ready to die for a very long time. He doesn't want to, that's never been a risk for him--he loves life the way he loves most other things. But he's been ready. Kylo Ren destroyed that balanced peace with death. He made Poe want it. He made Poe wish to be another nameless First Order prisoner, a number slated to be scratched off a list, the sooner... the sooner the better.
Finn saved him. There's no other way to put it, but there's nothing in those three words that explains the breadth of what they mean. ]
We are in this together. No matter what.