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My friend is in the hospital with injuries. I'm more worried than anything else.

it was ren.

[ Which he thinks is explanation enough as to why she should be mad at him. ]

[ There is the heaviest fucking sigh. But fuck it, she asks it anyway. ]

Are you alright? Aside from physically.

[ AN EVEN LONGER SILENCE!! ]

no.

[ She expected as much. ]

Do you want me to back off?

[ She knows on her worst nights, she just wants to be left alone because she knows she won't be good company to anyone around her. ]

i don't know.

[ Poe isn't used to wanting to be alone. He thrives on interaction, takes his joy from being around others.

He almost doesn't know how to be by himself. ]

i have no idea.

[ Karen sometimes feels the same way. She hates feeling lonely, isolated. ]

I'm here if you need me, Poe.

My door is open. Or I can come to you. You just need to let me know, okay?

i'll come to you.

[ He wants to see her. He's not sure what he'll say when he does, but so far he's seen the other people that mean the most to him here.

He also wants an excuse to leave the little room he often shares with Finn and Rey. It feels claustrophobic. He knows why. Half the time he sees the walls of the interrogation room instead of the residential building. The other half of the time he's waiting for that slip of memory to take him back into a nightmare. ]

Be careful.

[ But she means it: her door is open to him if he needs her. She's lost enough friends by now. She doesn't want to push more away. ]

[ It takes him, oh, an hour or so to finally go to her room. An hour or so of looking at her messages. An hour or so of fluttering between half-formed thoughts and memories of the park, the Finalizer, Leia.

He leans against her door for a second before knocking on it, keeping his voice light. ] I thought you said it'd be open.

[ Even traumatized, Poe is a shit. ]

Edited 2017-12-17 22:48 (UTC)

[ She opens it for him, shaking her head. ]

You know what I meant.

[ And, as soon as she was able to, she gingerly wrapped her arms around his neck, pulling him in for a hug (easy to do with the height difference). ]

[ Poe flinches, tenses, and then forces himself to relax. It's not that he's surprised by the hug. It's that he's so far into the pit of the Finalizer that he's expecting something else.

He rests his face against her shoulder. ]

Hi.

[ She rests her chin on his shoulder in turn, eyes closed, ]

I'm glad you're okay.

[ Even if he's not all "okay", he's still standing, he's still here. That counts for something. ]

What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time

[And then, upon realizing this is not who he thought it was.]

WHOOPS

[ Poe looked at this message while he was drinking coffee and got himself a free nasal cavity cleanse with fresh espresso and steamed milk thank. ]

well.

sometimes it does help to make things clear for your partner.

can you imagine me delivering that advice in a fatherly tone, because i tried to type it in a fatherly tone.

I have noooooo idea what a fatherly tone even sounds like but i can say yes anyway

[ For a few seconds he doesn't say anything, just holds her and lets himself be held. It's a silent affirmation: yes, he's here, he's alive, no matter what else is happening. ]

Me too.

[ She continues to hold him for a few moments, vaguely realizing she can feel his heartbeat against her own chest. Just further confirmation. ]

Are you hungry? Tired? I'll lend you my bed for a few hours if you need it.

[ He chuckles. Honestly, he could use food and sleep--he hasn't gotten enough of either, not being able to stomach one and not being able to relax into the other. ]

I look that bad?