Photos wouldn't do them justice. They never seem to.
[ Even holos never come close to showing what it's like to see a whole flight of whisper birds banking in silent unison. There are some things a person just has to be present for. Like the prisma storms on Yavin, or the first snowfall on Hosnian Prime.
Poe blinks, turning away from the window to look at John in surprise. He does like naturey-type stuff. He hasn't exactly hidden it. He just didn't think anyone else had noticed. ]
Oh. [ It always strikes him oddly when people say something that means they've been thinking of him. He never expects it, outside of ships, maneuvers, mission objectives. He's Commander Poe Dameron--
Captain. Captain Poe Dameron. He might not remember the demotion, but it doesn't make it any less real. He's Captain Poe Dameron, and that's all he's had time to be for years now. ] That's... thanks.
[John thinks about Poe. He thinks about him a lot. Really, he's all John's been thinking about, other than Jim's well-being, his job, and Atlantis.
He thinks about him as a pilot. A captain. A comrade. Mostly, when he's lying awake at night, on sheets that still smell like Poe, he thinks about him as a man.
It reminds John he's a man, too. That there's more to living than just leading, surviving, and fighting tooth and nail. For years, that's all he's been doing. Everything else on the back-burner. In a lot of ways, it was easier. Simpler.
Now, there's so much more to think about than the next battle.
John doesn't know what to say to the look on Poe's face, but he thinks he understands.
So he smiles at Poe, and leans across the backseat to graze his lips against the corner of Poe's mouth. Not quite a kiss, but close. The closest they've ever been outside of the privacy of John's housing, in daylight.]
[ Poe stays very still. He can't help remembering the way he thought about kissing Karen almost a month ago now, the way they did kiss later. This is dangerous ground, it's foreign territory, it's something he wants and he doesn't know what to do with it in either case.
But he doesn't want John to think he did something wrong. Not when the man so rarely seems to show this part of himself. Poe's never seen it outside of the bedroom. The change in context means more than it should.
So Poe reaches out and brushes John's leg with his fingertips, another silent thank you.
The driver interrupts the moment. "We're coming up to the walkway to the caves. That's as far as I can take you."
Poe drags in a breath and looks to the front of the cab. ] That's fine.
[The touch is enough. More than enough. John smiles at Poe, then out the window. It's a quiet drive until they arrive at their destination.
John pays the cabbie and climbs out.
The weather is good. Clear, and breezy. They'll be able to see the stars from the path. It's just cool enough to need a jacket, and They'll warm up walking on the way there.
John looks at Poe, and the start of many, many, many stairs leading from the walkway crossing the wall and out into the rocky jungle terrain on the other side.]
Who doesn't love a good hike?
[John grins at Poe and starts down the path.
He feels good about this. About Poe. The sex is great, but this is something else he's been craving for a long time. Years. Spending time with someone he likes, just in their company. Not having to be anyone but themselves for a couple hours.
My dad and I used to go hiking in the jungle out behind the colony. We'd spend days up there. He could find whisper bird nests and woolamander colonies like he was born to it. Used to tell me he could find them by smell and I believed him for the longest time.
[ Poe tucks his hands into his jacket pockets, enjoying the breeze. It feels good to be out here already. Centering. He got used to city life on Hosnian Prime (the thought hurts, it always hurts, it's always going to hurt), but his heart will always belong to Yavin and its jungles.
I bet I can beat you to the top, John says, and once again Poe thinks of Karen. He tries not to think about why. But there they are, that barefoot run through the snow, laughing and slipping and pushing at each other, taking that last tumble into a snowbank and laying there eye-to-eye while their toes went numb.
It would feel strange and disloyal to race John and Poe... hates the feeling. He can't do it. He can't tangle these two memories up together. ]
Maybe outside of a cockpit. [ He slings an arm around John's shoulders, casually tactile, hoping that settles something between them. He cares about John, he cares about him a lot. He just...
Yavin sounds like a nice place. And your dad sounds like he was a good dad.
[John means it. He’s always had a weakness for storytelling, and Poe paints such a vivid picture with his words. If John closes his eyes, he can almost see it. The planet. Wilderness. Father and son.
John wishes he had something to share, a story of his own to tell Poe in exchange, but there’s nothing. His father wasn’t a bad man, he just wasn’t there. Always away on business. When he was home, before boarding school, the family would eat at the same table, but then it was every man for themselves. His father to his study, his mother to sleep, because chemo was a hell of a drug, and John and his younger brother to their schoolwork. John’s childhood wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t worth talking about.
They don’t run, because Poe doesn’t want to, and John accepts Poe’s arm over his shoulders. That feels good, too.
He was probably being childish, anyway. John can’t quite let go of what he’s never really had. That's why he skateboards to work, and grasps at relationships he doesn’t understand.]
You say that like you could beat me in one. [They start down the first flight of stairs, one of twenty.]
He's the best. It was just him and me, after my mom died. [ Poe's smile is a little distant, a little sad. ] He'd like you. He was with the Pathfinders, during the war. Special forces.
[ He's tempted to tell some of his dad's stories, or more accurately the stories he's heard about his dad. His father never told them himself. He left Poe to learn from other veterans, the things Kes Dameron accomplished. There were a few stories Kes didn't mind sharing, but it had never been enough for a younger Poe.
He doesn't want to miss his father any more than he already does, though. Right now, in particular, when he could use a hug and Kes's advice more than anything. ] I wish you could meet him.
[ Then the melancholy is gone, and Poe smiles sideways at John. ]
[John smiles too, shyly. He's not sure what's more surprising, that he actually wants to meet Poe's father, or that Poe wants John to meet him.
John never wanted to meet Nancy's parents. He stalled for as long as he could, and made every excuse not to visit the in-laws even after they were married. Probably because Nancy's parents were carbon copies of his parents, give or take a few houses. Upper middle-class WASPS. John's been stung too many times.]
My old man- my father, he was all about business. Good at it, too. One of the best. His funeral was a Forbes list who's who. My little brother, David, is just like him. He took over the family business when my father passed away. The stocks didn't even take a hit.
Me? Well. You know what I'm like. More or less.
[It's more than John's ever said to anyone about his family. He doesn't talk about them. Sure, he'd reconnected with David, but they'd always lived in two different worlds, even before John had his mail redirected to a new galaxy.
The stairs are steep and slippery. John walks slightly ahead of Poe by force of habit, one hand lightly skimming the wet guard rail. He can already feel the cool damp of the cave on his cheeks.
Truthfully, ever since the 'turning into a giant man-eating bug' incident, John's never been a big fan of dark, enclosed spaces. He can still hear the scratching of claws against stone, smell the sharp chemical scent of pheromones, driving him crazy, how tempting it was to crawl on the floor or climb up the walls with the others, in search of the best place to build a nest-
John shudders and shakes it off. They're at the entrance now, and it's really not the time or place to revisit that particular nightmare.
[ Poe doesn't quite have context for the way John describes his family. Forbes is completely meaningless to him. But he gets the 'all about business', one of the best, who's who. Poe gives John's shoulder a little squeeze.
It's hard to imagine John in that environment. Race horses (he looked those up), wealth. Poe has encountered enough politicians with that kind of money that he has a pretty dim view of wealth in general.
But they're approaching the cave, and Poe feels a little prickle of excitement that's immediately tempered by John's shudder. Yeah, he saw that. John's sudden apprehension couldn't be more clear. Poe moves in front of him, studying John's face. ]
We don't have to go in.
[ He can always come back later. He's not about to force John into a space that makes him uncomfortable. ]
[John lifts his chin stubbornly, meeting Poe's eyes with what he hopes looks like confidence. He might be puffing up his chest a little, not that it makes much of a difference. He's been inside plenty of caves since the incident. He can handle a tourist attraction.
Backing out at this point would be embarrassing. That, and he doesn't want Poe to think he's a chicken. They're here together, to have a good time, and John will be damned if a little dark and damp stop him.]
[ Poe blinks when the tickets boop his snoot. Because somehow that was entirely unexpected. Resolved or not, Poe's going to be keeping an eye on John once they get inside. He's not about to let his own excitement overshadow a friend needing a break.
I don't like being closed in, Poe had told John, and John had adapted without hesitation. Poe owes him that same favor. ]
If you're sure.
[ Poe leads the way inside, immediately taken with the shimmering walls, fascinated by the play of color, homesick with the memory of the prisma storms on Yavin. He reaches out to touch one glassy surface, breathless. ] Reminds me of home.
[Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard will not be outmanned by a hole in the ground.
John falls in close behind Poe, and pretty soon, any lingering memories of a darker, damper, slimier cave are all but forgotten. It's beautiful. John touches the crystal too, dragging his fingertips lightly over the surface as they walk.
He could get lost in the endless facets of colour and refraction of light, but then there's Poe looking at the crystal, and the sparkle reflected in his eyes is more than beautiful. There's a look of boyish wonder on his face, and John can't help but smile to see it. He's glad they're here, and even more glad that Poe can get in touch with this side of himself, the nature-lover, because he's important, too. He deserves to exist.]
Yeah? I'd like to see it. Yavin. Who knows, maybe I could visit someday.
[ That startles a small laugh out of Poe. ] Because that'll be some time soon, right?
[ Never mind the question of separate universes, separate galaxies.
He tucks his hands in his pockets, standing aside as another pair walks past hand-in-hand, his focus on the ripple and warp of rainbows inside the crystals. ] It's not refraction, either. The patterns move independently of the light sources in here.
[ On he goes, feeling lighter and calmer than he has in a week. There's something about being around things like this, natural phenomenon, objects that created themselves outside of sentient influence, that reminds him that Light exists even outside the actions taken by sentient species. Where there's life, there's beauty and hope, and it's worth it to remember that.
Places like this make him think that maybe things will turn out okay.
Then they come out into the larger chamber, echoing softly with low-voiced conversation, and Poe has to stop, grabbing John's shoulder. ] Wow.
[John's more silver at the temple than brunette these days. He doesn’t remember when that happened. After Ford, and before Elizabeth. The only measure of time that’s ever really mattered. He woke up one day, and went to shave, and there it was. The stress and age catching up with him. Greying hair, fine lines, and all. He’d made a point to surf that weekend.
His eyes catch on the two people walking by hand in hand. John isn’t brave enough, but he thinks about it.]
You’re right. I’ve seen a lot of things, but never anything quite like this. There was this one planet, but those things were closer to kaleidoscopes from hell than crysta- wow.
[The antechamber has nothing on the central cavern. The ceiling is stories high, dripping with crystalized stalacites, matched only in brilliance and size by the man-sized stalagmites pointing up like glittering teeth from the floor. There’s no need for artificial lighting, despite the size of the cavern, because it’s lit from within by the reflections of glittering reflections. Everything is shining.
John reaches blindly for Poe’s hand on his shoulder, to make sure he’s still there, and seeing this.]
Yeah. [ Poe laughs under his breath. Then yanks John's jacket, pointing to the nearest open cluster, one of the crystals nearly twice as tall as Poe and John. ] Race you.
[ Poe guns it for the formation, like a kid who just spotted a free swing on the playground. Win or lose, he doesn't really care--he just wants to stand in the light cast from that crystal. He wants to be close to something that grand. ]
[Everyone else is being quiet and romantic. Then there's John and Poe.
John chases after him with everything he's got, because what's the point in racing if you're not going to really race? He doesn't care if he wins or loses, either. It's about the chase. Letting go for just a few seconds, and doing something fully, for no other reason than to do it.
He's always loved to run, and he'll do his damnedest to catch up, even if Poe has a head start. Metres away he skids into a low slide, reaching out with one hand to try and touch the stalactite before Poe does.]
[ Poe loses. Again. He's grinning, though, genuine and bright and without the shadows he's been carrying with him through each day since he first found out about Paige and her squadron. ]
Like I said. Outside of a cockpit. [ He runs his hand up the side of the crystal, half-expecting it to be warm. There's little runnels and build-ups here and there, like the pillar is made of transparent wax instead of stone, melting from some unfelt heat. ] I can't believe this has been here the whole time and no one found it before now.
[John touches the crystal too. It's not warm at all. Light streams between his fingers. If he makes shapes, he can almost create glimmering shadow pictures on the wall behind them.]
Vroooom. Brrrrrrt.
[Yes, he making a plane, and he's grinning at Poe like a ten year old boy while he does it. Poe's in a good mood. He's in a good mood. If they make it out of the cave in a good mood, and in one piece, with their clothes on, it'll be a new record.]
[ Poe laughs quietly. He knows enough by now to guess that an F-35 is a ship--a plane of some kind. It's the sound effects that make it.
Poe forms a bird with his hands, holding it up in front of the crystal and trying to keep a straight face as a couple walks by giving the two men funny looks. ]
A whisper bird.
They don't make any noises.
[ Cue the multilegged cave bug crawling out from between two of the crystal pillars, which immediately gets Poe's attention. ] Oh, hey. I wonder what it eats.
[ This isn't exactly a critter-friendly environment, so far as he can tell. ]
[John's surveyed a lot of planets, but he's never really taken the time to stop and smell the alien roses. There's always a mission. Some important task that needs doing, and usually done yesterday. John can't remember the last time he noticed any wildlife that wasn't actively trying to kill him.
Poe makes John wish he'd paid more attention. Actually looked instead of just saw.]
What what eats?
[John tears his eyes away from Poe's face to look where he's looking, and freezes.
Bug. Big bug. Big dark bug. Big dark bug near him.
A lot happens in the next second. John makes a startled noise, jumps a good couple feet into the air, backwards, reaches for his sidearm, which isn't there, reaches for his rifle, which also isn't there, grabs onto Poe, yanks him back, and doesn't let go. Whether John is shielding Poe with his body or clinging onto him for dear life is unclear.
John points at the bug with one finger, definitely more behind Poe than in front of him. But with one arm across Poe's chest. He really can't make up his mind.]
[ Okay, there's a difference between a mild phobic reaction and pure terror, and John leaps over the line between them the second Poe sees him reaching for a gun that isn't there. Poe grabs on to John, in part to keep his balance and in part because it just seems like the right thing to do. ]
Easy! Easy. It's okay.
[ The bug has frozen in place, one antennae bobbing, multifaceted eyes emotionless. Another moment of stillness from the two men and it crawls on its way again, down to the base of the crystal and closer to them for a moment before it circles back and disappears between a fresh pair of stones.
Poe doesn't really care about the others staring at them. He doesn't really care about the bug, either, except to be grateful it's gone. He doesn't want John to try and kill it when it hadn't been doing anything but existing, terror or no. ]
[The bug crawls closer to them. John shudders. Every inch of his skin prickling with discomfort. Itchy.
Poe says something, but he doesn’t hear it. John can’t look away. Not even as bile burns up the back of his throat, and he thinks he could be sick, right here, in front of all these people, in front of Poe. He grits his teeth and swallows it down.
The bug stops. Retreats. Goes back to whatever hell it came from.
John looks up and around the cavern. How many more are there? Where could they be hiding? Suddenly the moving shadows between skews of refracted light don’t seem so innocent. John’s eyes dart back and forth. His hand twitches towards his hip again.
It’s Poe’s voice that brings him back. John snaps to, straightening slowly. He’d been half-crouched, poised for action. ]
But…
[He looks at Poe helplessly. Wanting to argue, but without a leg to stand on. He looks down.
John’s fingers curl in on themselves, digging into his palms. No claws. He’s fine. He’s still himself. All of him.
For whatever that’s worth. Right now, it doesn't feel like a lot.]
[ Poe gives John a little squeeze around the shoulders, a tiny indicator that he's not upset, before he leads the way through the cave toward the exit. He makes sure to stay far away from the walls, from the formations in the center of the floor, anywhere there might be an insect in hiding.
He can come back and look at the crystals again later. Right now his priority is getting John back out in the sunlight.
Sure is a cave.
Poe wants to ask. He really, really wants to ask. He's not going to. ]
[Poe steers him through the cave towards the exit. John lets him. He’s on autopilot. His eyes stay on the ground in front of him. John’s panic is quickly giving way to shame. Almost as soon as his heart climbs down out of his throat it falls into the pit of his stomach. He doesn’t want to look at Poe, or for Poe to look at him. He doesn’t want to see the disappointment in Poe’s eyes, or worse, the pity.
John planned this outing with the intent to help Poe out of a dark place, and he’d FUBARed.
They exit the cave to bright skies and fresh air. John hates how much of a relief it is. Hates himself for being so goddamn weak, and ruining a good thing. If he’d left an impression on Poe, it was the wrong one.
The best he can do now is pull himself up by his bootstraps and refuse to be any more of a burden than he already is. John quietly sucks in a deep breath, laughs sheepishly, and looks at Poe with an embarrassed smile he hopes isn’t half as weak as it feels.]
Sorry. Guess I have a thing about bugs. Usually I just shoot 'em.
Kinda like me and being closed in. [ He hates saying that aloud. He hates admitting it, even if John already knows. That's exactly why it needs to be said.
Poe gives John's shoulder a tiny squeeze. ] What were you thinking for dinner?
[ That's it. That's all there is to it, as far as Poe is concerned. John needed to get out, they got out. He wouldn't take back the action no matter how many reassurances John offered. There's no apology necessary, no explanation needed. ]
I'd go for anything but pizza, actually. Finn and I have had a lot of that lately.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
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[ Even holos never come close to showing what it's like to see a whole flight of whisper birds banking in silent unison. There are some things a person just has to be present for. Like the prisma storms on Yavin, or the first snowfall on Hosnian Prime.
Poe blinks, turning away from the window to look at John in surprise. He does like naturey-type stuff. He hasn't exactly hidden it. He just didn't think anyone else had noticed. ]
Oh. [ It always strikes him oddly when people say something that means they've been thinking of him. He never expects it, outside of ships, maneuvers, mission objectives. He's Commander Poe Dameron--
Captain. Captain Poe Dameron. He might not remember the demotion, but it doesn't make it any less real. He's Captain Poe Dameron, and that's all he's had time to be for years now. ] That's... thanks.
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He thinks about him as a pilot. A captain. A comrade. Mostly, when he's lying awake at night, on sheets that still smell like Poe, he thinks about him as a man.
It reminds John he's a man, too. That there's more to living than just leading, surviving, and fighting tooth and nail. For years, that's all he's been doing. Everything else on the back-burner. In a lot of ways, it was easier. Simpler.
Now, there's so much more to think about than the next battle.
John doesn't know what to say to the look on Poe's face, but he thinks he understands.
So he smiles at Poe, and leans across the backseat to graze his lips against the corner of Poe's mouth. Not quite a kiss, but close. The closest they've ever been outside of the privacy of John's housing, in daylight.]
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But he doesn't want John to think he did something wrong. Not when the man so rarely seems to show this part of himself. Poe's never seen it outside of the bedroom. The change in context means more than it should.
So Poe reaches out and brushes John's leg with his fingertips, another silent thank you.
The driver interrupts the moment. "We're coming up to the walkway to the caves. That's as far as I can take you."
Poe drags in a breath and looks to the front of the cab. ] That's fine.
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[The touch is enough. More than enough. John smiles at Poe, then out the window. It's a quiet drive until they arrive at their destination.
John pays the cabbie and climbs out.
The weather is good. Clear, and breezy. They'll be able to see the stars from the path. It's just cool enough to need a jacket, and They'll warm up walking on the way there.
John looks at Poe, and the start of many, many, many stairs leading from the walkway crossing the wall and out into the rocky jungle terrain on the other side.]
Who doesn't love a good hike?
[John grins at Poe and starts down the path.
He feels good about this. About Poe. The sex is great, but this is something else he's been craving for a long time. Years. Spending time with someone he likes, just in their company. Not having to be anyone but themselves for a couple hours.
Maybe, just once, it'll work out.]
I bet I can beat you to the top.
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[ Poe tucks his hands into his jacket pockets, enjoying the breeze. It feels good to be out here already. Centering. He got used to city life on Hosnian Prime (the thought hurts, it always hurts, it's always going to hurt), but his heart will always belong to Yavin and its jungles.
I bet I can beat you to the top, John says, and once again Poe thinks of Karen. He tries not to think about why. But there they are, that barefoot run through the snow, laughing and slipping and pushing at each other, taking that last tumble into a snowbank and laying there eye-to-eye while their toes went numb.
It would feel strange and disloyal to race John and Poe... hates the feeling. He can't do it. He can't tangle these two memories up together. ]
Maybe outside of a cockpit. [ He slings an arm around John's shoulders, casually tactile, hoping that settles something between them. He cares about John, he cares about him a lot. He just...
He keeps thinking about Karen. ]
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[John means it. He’s always had a weakness for storytelling, and Poe paints such a vivid picture with his words. If John closes his eyes, he can almost see it. The planet. Wilderness. Father and son.
John wishes he had something to share, a story of his own to tell Poe in exchange, but there’s nothing. His father wasn’t a bad man, he just wasn’t there. Always away on business. When he was home, before boarding school, the family would eat at the same table, but then it was every man for themselves. His father to his study, his mother to sleep, because chemo was a hell of a drug, and John and his younger brother to their schoolwork. John’s childhood wasn’t bad, it just wasn’t worth talking about.
They don’t run, because Poe doesn’t want to, and John accepts Poe’s arm over his shoulders. That feels good, too.
He was probably being childish, anyway. John can’t quite let go of what he’s never really had. That's why he skateboards to work, and grasps at relationships he doesn’t understand.]
You say that like you could beat me in one. [They start down the first flight of stairs, one of twenty.]
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[ He's tempted to tell some of his dad's stories, or more accurately the stories he's heard about his dad. His father never told them himself. He left Poe to learn from other veterans, the things Kes Dameron accomplished. There were a few stories Kes didn't mind sharing, but it had never been enough for a younger Poe.
He doesn't want to miss his father any more than he already does, though. Right now, in particular, when he could use a hug and Kes's advice more than anything. ] I wish you could meet him.
[ Then the melancholy is gone, and Poe smiles sideways at John. ]
And I say that because I could.
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[John smiles too, shyly. He's not sure what's more surprising, that he actually wants to meet Poe's father, or that Poe wants John to meet him.
John never wanted to meet Nancy's parents. He stalled for as long as he could, and made every excuse not to visit the in-laws even after they were married. Probably because Nancy's parents were carbon copies of his parents, give or take a few houses. Upper middle-class WASPS. John's been stung too many times.]
My old man- my father, he was all about business. Good at it, too. One of the best. His funeral was a Forbes list who's who. My little brother, David, is just like him. He took over the family business when my father passed away. The stocks didn't even take a hit.
Me? Well. You know what I'm like. More or less.
[It's more than John's ever said to anyone about his family. He doesn't talk about them. Sure, he'd reconnected with David, but they'd always lived in two different worlds, even before John had his mail redirected to a new galaxy.
The stairs are steep and slippery. John walks slightly ahead of Poe by force of habit, one hand lightly skimming the wet guard rail. He can already feel the cool damp of the cave on his cheeks.
Truthfully, ever since the 'turning into a giant man-eating bug' incident, John's never been a big fan of dark, enclosed spaces. He can still hear the scratching of claws against stone, smell the sharp chemical scent of pheromones, driving him crazy, how tempting it was to crawl on the floor or climb up the walls with the others, in search of the best place to build a nest-
John shudders and shakes it off. They're at the entrance now, and it's really not the time or place to revisit that particular nightmare.
Sure is a cave.
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It's hard to imagine John in that environment. Race horses (he looked those up), wealth. Poe has encountered enough politicians with that kind of money that he has a pretty dim view of wealth in general.
But they're approaching the cave, and Poe feels a little prickle of excitement that's immediately tempered by John's shudder. Yeah, he saw that. John's sudden apprehension couldn't be more clear. Poe moves in front of him, studying John's face. ]
We don't have to go in.
[ He can always come back later. He's not about to force John into a space that makes him uncomfortable. ]
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[John lifts his chin stubbornly, meeting Poe's eyes with what he hopes looks like confidence. He might be puffing up his chest a little, not that it makes much of a difference. He's been inside plenty of caves since the incident. He can handle a tourist attraction.
Backing out at this point would be embarrassing. That, and he doesn't want Poe to think he's a chicken. They're here together, to have a good time, and John will be damned if a little dark and damp stop him.]
Besides. I already bought the tickets.
[He taps Poe on the nose with them, smirking.]
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I don't like being closed in, Poe had told John, and John had adapted without hesitation. Poe owes him that same favor. ]
If you're sure.
[ Poe leads the way inside, immediately taken with the shimmering walls, fascinated by the play of color, homesick with the memory of the prisma storms on Yavin. He reaches out to touch one glassy surface, breathless. ] Reminds me of home.
[ And they're barely ten feet inside. ]
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[Lieutenant Colonel John Sheppard will not be outmanned by a hole in the ground.
John falls in close behind Poe, and pretty soon, any lingering memories of a darker, damper, slimier cave are all but forgotten. It's beautiful. John touches the crystal too, dragging his fingertips lightly over the surface as they walk.
He could get lost in the endless facets of colour and refraction of light, but then there's Poe looking at the crystal, and the sparkle reflected in his eyes is more than beautiful. There's a look of boyish wonder on his face, and John can't help but smile to see it. He's glad they're here, and even more glad that Poe can get in touch with this side of himself, the nature-lover, because he's important, too. He deserves to exist.]
Yeah? I'd like to see it. Yavin. Who knows, maybe I could visit someday.
You know, when I retire.
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[ Never mind the question of separate universes, separate galaxies.
He tucks his hands in his pockets, standing aside as another pair walks past hand-in-hand, his focus on the ripple and warp of rainbows inside the crystals. ] It's not refraction, either. The patterns move independently of the light sources in here.
[ On he goes, feeling lighter and calmer than he has in a week. There's something about being around things like this, natural phenomenon, objects that created themselves outside of sentient influence, that reminds him that Light exists even outside the actions taken by sentient species. Where there's life, there's beauty and hope, and it's worth it to remember that.
Places like this make him think that maybe things will turn out okay.
Then they come out into the larger chamber, echoing softly with low-voiced conversation, and Poe has to stop, grabbing John's shoulder. ] Wow.
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[John's more silver at the temple than brunette these days. He doesn’t remember when that happened. After Ford, and before Elizabeth. The only measure of time that’s ever really mattered. He woke up one day, and went to shave, and there it was. The stress and age catching up with him. Greying hair, fine lines, and all. He’d made a point to surf that weekend.
His eyes catch on the two people walking by hand in hand. John isn’t brave enough, but he thinks about it.]
You’re right. I’ve seen a lot of things, but never anything quite like this. There was this one planet, but those things were closer to kaleidoscopes from hell than crysta- wow.
[The antechamber has nothing on the central cavern. The ceiling is stories high, dripping with crystalized stalacites, matched only in brilliance and size by the man-sized stalagmites pointing up like glittering teeth from the floor. There’s no need for artificial lighting, despite the size of the cavern, because it’s lit from within by the reflections of glittering reflections. Everything is shining.
John reaches blindly for Poe’s hand on his shoulder, to make sure he’s still there, and seeing this.]
It’s… beautiful.
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[ Poe guns it for the formation, like a kid who just spotted a free swing on the playground. Win or lose, he doesn't really care--he just wants to stand in the light cast from that crystal. He wants to be close to something that grand. ]
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John chases after him with everything he's got, because what's the point in racing if you're not going to really race? He doesn't care if he wins or loses, either. It's about the chase. Letting go for just a few seconds, and doing something fully, for no other reason than to do it.
He's always loved to run, and he'll do his damnedest to catch up, even if Poe has a head start. Metres away he skids into a low slide, reaching out with one hand to try and touch the stalactite before Poe does.]
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Like I said. Outside of a cockpit. [ He runs his hand up the side of the crystal, half-expecting it to be warm. There's little runnels and build-ups here and there, like the pillar is made of transparent wax instead of stone, melting from some unfelt heat. ] I can't believe this has been here the whole time and no one found it before now.
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Vroooom. Brrrrrrt.
[Yes, he making a plane, and he's grinning at Poe like a ten year old boy while he does it. Poe's in a good mood. He's in a good mood. If they make it out of the cave in a good mood, and in one piece, with their clothes on, it'll be a new record.]
It's an F-35.
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Poe forms a bird with his hands, holding it up in front of the crystal and trying to keep a straight face as a couple walks by giving the two men funny looks. ]
A whisper bird.
They don't make any noises.
[ Cue the multilegged cave bug crawling out from between two of the crystal pillars, which immediately gets Poe's attention. ] Oh, hey. I wonder what it eats.
[ This isn't exactly a critter-friendly environment, so far as he can tell. ]
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[John's surveyed a lot of planets, but he's never really taken the time to stop and smell the alien roses. There's always a mission. Some important task that needs doing, and usually done yesterday. John can't remember the last time he noticed any wildlife that wasn't actively trying to kill him.
Poe makes John wish he'd paid more attention. Actually looked instead of just saw.]
What what eats?
[John tears his eyes away from Poe's face to look where he's looking, and freezes.
Bug. Big bug. Big dark bug. Big dark bug near him.
A lot happens in the next second. John makes a startled noise, jumps a good couple feet into the air, backwards, reaches for his sidearm, which isn't there, reaches for his rifle, which also isn't there, grabs onto Poe, yanks him back, and doesn't let go. Whether John is shielding Poe with his body or clinging onto him for dear life is unclear.
John points at the bug with one finger, definitely more behind Poe than in front of him. But with one arm across Poe's chest. He really can't make up his mind.]
NO!
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Easy! Easy. It's okay.
[ The bug has frozen in place, one antennae bobbing, multifaceted eyes emotionless. Another moment of stillness from the two men and it crawls on its way again, down to the base of the crystal and closer to them for a moment before it circles back and disappears between a fresh pair of stones.
Poe doesn't really care about the others staring at them. He doesn't really care about the bug, either, except to be grateful it's gone. He doesn't want John to try and kill it when it hadn't been doing anything but existing, terror or no. ]
Let's go.
[ His tone is one that won't tolerate argument. ]
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Poe says something, but he doesn’t hear it. John can’t look away. Not even as bile burns up the back of his throat, and he thinks he could be sick, right here, in front of all these people, in front of Poe. He grits his teeth and swallows it down.
The bug stops. Retreats. Goes back to whatever hell it came from.
John looks up and around the cavern. How many more are there? Where could they be hiding? Suddenly the moving shadows between skews of refracted light don’t seem so innocent. John’s eyes dart back and forth. His hand twitches towards his hip again.
It’s Poe’s voice that brings him back. John snaps to, straightening slowly. He’d been half-crouched, poised for action. ]
But…
[He looks at Poe helplessly. Wanting to argue, but without a leg to stand on. He looks down.
John’s fingers curl in on themselves, digging into his palms. No claws. He’s fine. He’s still himself. All of him.
For whatever that’s worth. Right now, it doesn't feel like a lot.]
Okay.
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He can come back and look at the crystals again later. Right now his priority is getting John back out in the sunlight.
Sure is a cave.
Poe wants to ask. He really, really wants to ask. He's not going to. ]
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John planned this outing with the intent to help Poe out of a dark place, and he’d FUBARed.
They exit the cave to bright skies and fresh air. John hates how much of a relief it is. Hates himself for being so goddamn weak, and ruining a good thing. If he’d left an impression on Poe, it was the wrong one.
The best he can do now is pull himself up by his bootstraps and refuse to be any more of a burden than he already is. John quietly sucks in a deep breath, laughs sheepishly, and looks at Poe with an embarrassed smile he hopes isn’t half as weak as it feels.]
Sorry. Guess I have a thing about bugs. Usually I just shoot 'em.
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Poe gives John's shoulder a tiny squeeze. ] What were you thinking for dinner?
[ That's it. That's all there is to it, as far as Poe is concerned. John needed to get out, they got out. He wouldn't take back the action no matter how many reassurances John offered. There's no apology necessary, no explanation needed. ]
I'd go for anything but pizza, actually. Finn and I have had a lot of that lately.
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