deploy: (john89)
Lt. Col. John Sheppard ([personal profile] deploy) wrote in [personal profile] volitaunt 2018-08-10 05:03 pm (UTC)

[John doesn’t know how to tell Poe that he’s wrong. That sometimes sadness and fear are what kills you, because you’d rather be anywhere than with those feelings. You’d rather die than feel loss again. People think John is noble, some kind of hero, but they couldn’t be farther from the truth. John doesn’t volunteer for every suicide mission because he’s brave. He volunteers because he’s a coward. To avoid pain. He would rather people mourn him than have to mourn them. John doesn’t want to hurt, or struggle to keep living and breathing with another hole in his heart.

John’s not a good person. He’s just fatally selfish.]


I don’t blame you. You’re nothing without him.

[A low groan when Poe demands he stay, but there’s the barest hint of a smile at the corners of his mouth.

He really is selfish.]


I already regret it.

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