deploy: (atlantis201_0441)
Lt. Col. John Sheppard ([personal profile] deploy) wrote in [personal profile] volitaunt 2018-07-30 04:37 am (UTC)

[John does as he's told. The water feels good against the raw tissue of his throat. When he speaks he sounds like he's been gargling glass.]

I didn't mean to. Just messed up.

[It sounds worse than it was. John took the pills before bed, like Carson told him too. Then he couldn't sleep. He tossed and turned for hours. Then he got up and cracked open a bottle. Took more pills. Tried sleeping again. Couldn't. So he finished the bottle.

So maybe it doesn't sound worse than it was. The point is, he hadn't meant to make himself sick. Truth is, he felt sick long before the booze or the pills. He's not used to silence anymore. The house is too big. He's too small.

When John does sleep, the smallest noise wakes him up. His hand's already on the gun beneath his pillow before his eyes are open.]


I had to get out. Didn't know where else to go.

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